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" I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote 'The Dark Knight' with Chris, his brother. He wrote 'The Prestige,' the story for 'Memento.' "

Mike Birbiglia

Strong

Who

Class

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" Sometimes my fans are too nice. "

" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "

" I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. "

" I grew up in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and went to college in Washington D.C. "

Mike Birbiglia

Massachusetts

Washington

" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "

" If you're asked something on a movie set and you say 'I don't know,' you lose confidence in every department. What you need to say is 'I'll have that for you in five minutes.' "

" Once you know how to make a movie, you can't not make a movie. "

" The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought. "

" Prose is all about embellishing and describing. "

" I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness. "

" When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do. "

Mike Birbiglia

Week

Wife

" When you're in high school, you can't even imagine the concept of what the rest of your life even means. "

" If I dream that I'm directing, it's not a film, it's like a commercial for cotton candy, and I've got four feet of cotton candy all around me that I've got to break through, like a brick wall or a fortress. "

Mike Birbiglia

Cotton

Feet

" Film is so immersive. "

Mike Birbiglia

Film

" Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you. "

" Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. "

" When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. "

" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "

" My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "

Mike Birbiglia

War

Through

" Pain is funnier than love. "

" I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad, and just say, 'This is the part I agree with that you're saying, and these are the parts I don't agree with.' "

" If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it. "

" The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. "

" My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I'll just be Big. "

Mike Birbiglia

Name

Away

" The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short. "

" Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. "

" You don't really see sleepwalking in films that often. It's weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of sitcom, arms-in-front-of-your-body sleepwalking, and then maybe Olive Oil and Popeye when she sleepwalks through the construction site. But it's all very cartoonish, in some cases literally. "

" I'm incapable of feeling any joy. "

" Someone gave me a piece of advice once, my first manager Lucien Hold. He said, 'If you do stand-up about your own life, no one can steal it.' I always thought that was the best piece of advice. "

Mike Birbiglia

Best

Life

" In real life, I first started sleep walking in high school because that was when this concept of getting into college first appeared. I had this moment of, 'Oh! This is going to affect the rest of my life.' "