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" I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. "

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" I came from a very loving home, had a happy life with no great aspirations, but going to the seminary changed me. There was a chunk of my childhood missing. Once I'd realised it wasn't for me, I still felt a tremendous pressure to continue for fear of letting everybody down. "

Johnny Vegas

Life

Great

Home

" I wanted to try and trace the genuine origins of 'Johnny' and how he so successfully staged this takeover of 'Michael Pennington.' 'Johnny' is a contradiction to who I am as a person. I'm not very good at confrontation, I have a tendency to internalise and to carry things around. "

" I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers. "

" From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I'd inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad. "

" You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection. "

" 'Johnny' was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me. "

" I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting. "

" When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that. "

" You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am. "

" I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" Oh, I'm terrible at travel. "

Johnny Vegas

Travel

Terrible

" My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with. "

" It's lovely being a parent and being in a strong marriage with somebody who is your best friend. "

" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "

Johnny Vegas

Real

Day

" I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia. "

Johnny Vegas

Serious

Drama

" I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears. "

" I think I'm realising more and more that I've got a job to do and I can't be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it. "

" Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. "

" I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. "

" I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is. "

" I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money. "

" Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. "

" I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. "

" Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric! "

" There have been times I've finished a big job and thought, 'Great, a couple of weeks off.' But then a couple of weeks turns to three weeks and then after a month you're staring at the phone willing it to ring. "

" I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things. "

" There was always that thing with 'Johnny' - I always saw myself as his writer and PR. But when he got out there, I had no control. His whole thing was going off on those flights of fancy. Going, 'Let's see what we can possibly do that hasn't been done before up here.' And when it works, it's lovely; it's a great night. "

" I've always been looking for other people's approval. "

" I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs. "