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" I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia. "

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" I still give myself the right to be highly critical of others, though. "

" Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric! "

" You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. "

" I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up. "

" My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with. "

" Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" Health-wise, I couldn't have said what my life expectancy would've been if I'd just carried on doing solid blocks of stand-up. "

" My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!' "

" I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for... my memories aged nought to ten... are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun. "

" People are always asking, 'Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,' and you're going, 'It's not like that: it's blurred right across.' "

" I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. "

" I do need to explore my faith, because it has got lost over the years and it has been kind of tainted through experience. But I also know it's enriched my life, my dad being a Catholic. "

" I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up. "

" I think I'm realising more and more that I've got a job to do and I can't be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it. "

" Oh, I'm terrible at travel. "

" 'Johnny' was always a lone wolf when he got on stage. Him against the world, whereas suddenly, when I got into acting, people were relying on me. "

" I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really. "

" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "

" Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that. "

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things. "

" I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. "

" I am very proud of what 'Johnny' achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick he could. But he was someone who was quite detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physically. "

" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "

" My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home. "

" I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them. "

" I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. "