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" Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane. "

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" I struggle as a writer, and I'm convinced that if I was at school now, I'd be termed as having ADS. Two minutes and I'm drifting. "

" In credits, I'm 'Michael' sometimes now, but people know you as something, so there's no point fighting it. 'Squiggle,' you'll always be 'Prince,' and 'The Rock,' just accept it. I want to move on, but not that much. So I'm still known as 'Johnny Vegas.' "

" This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute. "

" My name is Michael Pennington, and I am not a comic character. "

" I've got my finger in a lot of pies. "

" I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers! "

" I'd never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, 'You're on stage tonight.' "

" I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia. "

" Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things. "

" I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway. "

" The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No. "

" The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year. "

" I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive. "

" You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led. "

" Being 'Johnny' was almost like an out of body experience. I thought he was just a character that I'd created and could quite easily step away from, but it was much more difficult than that. "

" I don't want to demonise 'Johnny.' I was really proud of what he achieved. Especially within stand-up. He was quite a unique voice. I will always possibly be trading off 'Johnny's name, but there's a lot more things that I'm able to do now - the strengths that 'Michael' can bring to it. "

" They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day. "

" I came back from university thinking I knew all about politics and racism, not knowing my dad had been one of the youngest-serving Labour councillors in the town and had refused to work in South Africa years ago because of the situation there. And he's never mentioned it - you just find out. That's a real man to me. A sleeping lion. "

" I sang 'American Pie' a lot in my stage set. It had a knack of uniting an audience in a sing-along. It's a clever song about American history but wrapped in a fantastic tune. "

" I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is. "

" I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up. "

" Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends. "

" People are always asking, 'Where does Michael Pennington end and Johnny Vegas begin,' and you're going, 'It's not like that: it's blurred right across.' "

" There's a domino effect with certain things you say. "

" With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle. "

" I've always been looking for other people's approval. "

" I couldn't be 'Johnny' in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be 'Michael.' With directing, you can't do it by halves. There's a lot of reflection, and I have found that I, as 'Michael,' thrive on it. It's lovely coming home and feeling that stuff from a day's work as myself. "

" There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource. "

" I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again. "

" I was loved as a kid; I was raised with more love and emotional support than most folks could wish for... my memories aged nought to ten... are all bound up together in a mesh of innocence and fun. "