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" In America nothing dies easier than tradition. "
Russell Baker
America
Dies
Tradition
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" The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. "
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Resist
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" A skillful playwright might have a good time with the story of the assassination of President William McKinley, and especially with the three most flamboyant political figures involved: Mark Hanna, Theodore Roosevelt, and Emma Goldman. "
Russell Baker
Three
Time
Story
" Strategic thinkers were naturally rattled to find this outsider fooling around with their work. They had been thinking strategically when Reagan was just another movie actor playing opposite a chimpanzee, for heaven's sake. They think Reagan is too naive, too innocent, to grasp the intellectual complexities of cold war strategy. "
Russell Baker
Think
War
Work
" Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years. "
Russell Baker
Comedy
Situation
Television
" Like all young reporters - brilliant or hopelessly incompetent - I dreamed of the glamorous life of the foreign correspondent: prowling Vienna in a Burberry trench coat, speaking a dozen languages to dangerous women, narrowly escaping Sardinian bandits - the usual stuff that newspaper dreams are made of. "
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Newspaper
Women
Dreams
" American foreign policy had still not recovered from its victory over communism when George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice took over at the White House in 2001. "
Russell Baker
American
Communism
Victory
" It's always seemed odd to me that after a group of terrorists commits a vile and odious deed they rush messages to the public to claim credit for it. "
Russell Baker
Odd
Credit
Always
" Feel good about linking hands in human chain for good causes. "
Russell Baker
Feel Good
Feel
Good
" An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong. "
Russell Baker
Education
Information
Best
" Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. "
Russell Baker
You
Once
Hear
" Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. "
Russell Baker
Will
Poetry
Airport
" Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity. "
Russell Baker
Die
Live
You
" Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. "
Russell Baker
Humor
People
Small
" A day spent praising the earth and lamenting man's pollutionist history makes you feel like a superior, sensitive soul. "
Russell Baker
Soul
You
Earth
" Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. "
Russell Baker
Grow
Parenting
You
" What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. "
Russell Baker
New
Grow
Home
" In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
Age
Fashion
" Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Work
Three
" Journalism was being whittled away by a Wall Street theory that profits can be maximized by minimizing the product. "
Russell Baker
Street
Wall
Away
" It is fitting that yesteryear's swashbuckling newspaper reporter has turned into today's solemn young sobersides nursing a glass of watered white wine after a day of toiling over computer databases in a smoke-free, noise-free newsroom. "
Russell Baker
White
Wine
Today
" There is a growing literature about the multitude of journalism's problems, but most of it is concerned with the editorial side of the business, possibly because most people competent to write about journalism are not comfortable writing about finance. "
Russell Baker
Side
People
Writing
" People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. "
Russell Baker
Know
People
Out
" I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. "
Russell Baker
World
Myself
Like
" Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter. "
Russell Baker
Evil
Business
Either
" Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life. "
Russell Baker
Life
American
Noise
" You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. "
Russell Baker
Opportunity
Feel Good
Good
" Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity. "
Russell Baker
Hazardous
Verses
Your
" A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. "
Russell Baker
Sunday
Church
Group
" Rereading A.J. Liebling carries me happily back to an age when all good journalists knew they had plenty to be modest about, and were. "
Russell Baker
Me
Age
Modest
" When sudden death takes a president, opportunities for new beginnings flourish among the ambitious and the tensions among such people can be dramatic, as they were when President Kennedy was killed. "
Russell Baker
Death
People
Opportunities