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" People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. "
Russell Baker
Know
People
Out
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" The American press has the blues. Too many authorities have assured it that its days are numbered, too many good newspapers are in ruins. "
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Many
Days
Blues
" Roosevelt's declaration that Americans had 'nothing to fear but fear itself' was a glorious piece of inspirational rhetoric and just as gloriously wrong. "
Russell Baker
Fear
Nothing
Rhetoric
" Journalism was being whittled away by a Wall Street theory that profits can be maximized by minimizing the product. "
Russell Baker
Street
Wall
Away
" Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter. "
Russell Baker
Evil
Business
Either
" The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. "
Russell Baker
Only
Never
Writer
" Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it. "
Russell Baker
Vital
Poetry
Until
" Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it. "
Russell Baker
Will
Poetry
Airport
" It's good for the soul to hear yourself as others hear you, and next time maybe, just maybe, you will not talk so much, so loudly, so brilliantly, so charmingly, so utterly shamelessly foolishly. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
You
Time
" Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. "
Russell Baker
Company
Longer
Misery
" Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. "
Russell Baker
You
Suffer
Summer
" It's always seemed odd to me that after a group of terrorists commits a vile and odious deed they rush messages to the public to claim credit for it. "
Russell Baker
Odd
Credit
Always
" Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism. "
Russell Baker
Journalism
More
Politics
" Letter writing was clearly important to Reagan. Even as president he kept dashing off letters to friends, pen pals, media people, statesmen, critics, and the kind of people who write to presidents never expecting a reply. "
Russell Baker
Writing
Media
Pen
" Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Work
Three
" Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. "
Russell Baker
Shot
Say
Need
" Like all young reporters - brilliant or hopelessly incompetent - I dreamed of the glamorous life of the foreign correspondent: prowling Vienna in a Burberry trench coat, speaking a dozen languages to dangerous women, narrowly escaping Sardinian bandits - the usual stuff that newspaper dreams are made of. "
Russell Baker
Newspaper
Women
Dreams
" Feel good about linking hands in human chain for good causes. "
Russell Baker
Feel Good
Feel
Good
" What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises. "
Russell Baker
New
Grow
Home
" I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in a hostile world. "
Russell Baker
World
Myself
Like
" You can always tell folks from nonfolks. Folks like to feel good, like to smile for the camera when there's a big photo opportunity for a really good cause. "
Russell Baker
Opportunity
Feel Good
Good
" A day spent praising the earth and lamenting man's pollutionist history makes you feel like a superior, sensitive soul. "
Russell Baker
Soul
You
Earth
" The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him. "
Russell Baker
Resist
Objects
Defeat
" Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. "
Russell Baker
Grow
Parenting
You
" The best discussion of trouble in boardroom and business office is found in newspapers' own financial pages and speeches by journalists in management jobs. "
Russell Baker
Business
Financial
Management
" Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. "
Russell Baker
Break
Down
Work
" When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. "
Russell Baker
People
Fools
Car
" A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday. "
Russell Baker
Sunday
Church
Group
" Serious journalism need not be solemn. "
Russell Baker
Serious
Need
Journalism
" Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity. "
Russell Baker
Politics
Rest
World
" In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved. "
Russell Baker
Yourself
Age
Fashion