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" My dad was always fascinated and amused by Trump, so I learned to be fascinated and amused by Trump. "

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" Unintentional comedy is comedy just the same. "

" I am one of the five best parallel parkers in the United States of America. Dead serious. It's to the point now where I look back when pulling into the spot only as a formality. "

" It doesn't matter if you're famous or infamous. All that matters is you're a celebrity. "

" Landing on 'Morning Joe' wasn't a fluke. I was a poli sci major in college. I interned at the CBS political unit, covered conventions. "

" High on the list of things I've been meaning to do since I moved to New York in 2004 is going up to a Columbia University football game. "

" I'm pretty sure people are going to start writing letters again once the email fad passes. "

" Contrary to conventional wisdom, the blue blazer's a bit of a loose cannon. A suit decided long ago what it wanted to be, and it doesn't want to hear your ideas, but a blue blazer only got around to half the job. So it leaves it up to you to find its bottoms. Gray slacks, blue jeans, patterns, white pants and different blue shades all work. "

" The nice thing about 'Morning Joe' is that I do get to do serious news sometimes. "

" Golf is the only sport where watching the game is arguably as grueling physically as playing it. "

" When you live in New York City, you run up a long list of things you've been meaning to do. "

" I hate to make this point too often, but imagine for a moment George W. Bush were on his sixth vacation, and he was asked about Iraq, and he said 'I'm buying shrimp.' You think that wouldn't be a headline everywhere? "

" When you work in TV long enough, you tend to get a little jaded with different things you have to deal with. "

" Like a lot of kids, I had a Superman cake or different theme cakes, but then I hit the age where I think my mom thought I was ready for the German chocolate cake that she makes for my dad. Just the sight of that, the taste of that frosting, just reminds me of being at home with my mom and my dad and my sister and my friends. "

" I was a big Dave Winfield guy growing up. "

" I can't say for sure where I was headed the first time my mom put a blue blazer on me. Church, probably. West Side Presbyterian in Ridgewood, New Jersey, specifically, where my blazer was paired with a clip-on tie and a pair of khakis for a Sunday morning with my fellow congregants. "

" I don't know that I 'look up' to them, but in our predictably partisan media world, I admire journalists who are genuinely nonpartisan and totally fearless in their work - people who have no interest in being invited to the cocktail party. I don't agree with everything he writes, but Glenn Greenwald comes to mind. "

" I do remember vividly sometime after puberty when I'd answer the phone at home and the callers began to say, 'Hi, Bill!' That's when I knew Dad and I had the same voice. "

" When you're young, the blue blazer feels like a grown-up costume. "

" My dad is so unique in what he does. It's not like I'm taking a torch from him and doing his thing. I hope I've carried from him a little bit of a sense of irony, a little bit of a wink. "

" If the relentless personal maintenance plan has taken over your life, give it a rest. "

" I was a landscaper for three years and loved it. "

" In a tradition second in wonderful absurdity only to 60-year-old baseball managers wearing uniforms and spikes in the dugout, golf spectators come dressed ready to play 18. "

" I'm not a coffee drinker, so my drink is kind of like a girlie skim chai latte. I'm not proud of it, but it's really good. "

" I've had two pedicures in my life, and they were glorious. "

" Do whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own home. "

" Everyone worries about their kids, of course, but you can drive yourself nuts thinking about all the horrible things in the world - and many, many people do. I believe life is to be lived and not survived. "

" It's fun to deliver material on live TV because it's more off-the-cuff, but I like writing better. You really can measure the joke, think an extra second and nail the right reference. "

" I keep my politics a little closer to me than others do. "

" An ideal day starts with putting on a good, smart, fun show where I learn something and ends with me fending off atomic knee drops from my two kids in our no-holds-barred pillow fight/steel cage matches. They are a ruthless tag team. "