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" My younger sister looks to me to provide her with advice on how to do her job better - though she's too shy to ask me questions, so I have to give her my opinion on an unsolicited basis. "

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" It's never easy to adapt a book, especially as the author, because it's as if you're chopping off appendages. It really feels painful to decide what has to go. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Adapt

Easy

Never

" Parenting is difficult under any circumstances, and in my father's view, to raise a morally upright and honest child, you sometimes have to lie to him. "

" I've read that the ancient Chinese art of feng shui can bring a sense of peace, well-being, and positive energy to a home - same as beer. "

" My parents live in the part of the United States that is Canada. It is so far north that Minnesota lies in the same direction as Miami. They have four distinct seasons: Winter, More Winter, Still More Winter, and That One Day Of Summer. "

" I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in 'do not shoot' areas. "

" My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Speed

Mother

" I was riding my mountain bike in Colorado, and I met a dog who reminded me so much of my very first dog, in the way she interacted with me, looked at me, and wagged her tail, that I rode away convinced I'd just very possibly met the reincarnated version of my long lost friend. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Dog

Mountain

" I think, of all the holidays we celebrate, my least favorite is Earth Day. For one thing, I never know what sort of gift is appropriate. A jar of dirt, maybe? And it's not clear to me why Earth even needs a 'day,' since a spin on its axis creates a day. That's like giving a man who owns a shoe store a gift of a pair of shoes. "

" My dog Tucker likes to walk late at night because it is a good way to keep me awake. Apparently, the one time I took him for a stroll around midnight represented, to him, a commitment similar to marriage. "

" For me, the most indispensable tool for wrapping presents is a wife. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Wife

Tool

" I was an arrogant man. I not only thought I could manage my life without help, I wanted it that way. I had best-selling books and a TV show and movie contracts; I felt invincible, secure in the thought that everything was my doing. And then, like all arrogant men, I came to stumble. "

" Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears. "

" I've tried several diets over the past couple of years - not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two. "

" I've always been busy, but I wasn't always successful. "

" God invented love, and it is therefore perfect, and dogs are better at celebrating this perfection than we are. When in doubt as to how we should feel, we could do far worse than trying to live life like the dogs. "

" My advice to anybody, including myself, is if you're going through a bad period, and you just can't see the world's on your shoulders and no day is a good day, you're missing the whole point of the experience. And that's something dogs know from the moment they come bounding up to you as a puppy. "

" Without a dog, you'll be without at least one creature who thinks you are the smartest, most decent and heroic human being on the planet. "

" I am the sort of athlete who participates in a lot of winter sports - basketball, for example, is an activity that I'll spend many hours a week watching. "

" When I was in seventh grade, I was a scrawny boy with no muscles, so I went out for wrestling. My intention was to develop secret wrestling skills so that if I were jumped by a bully, I'd shout, 'Ha!' and he'd be on the ground in a headlock. "

" During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child. "

" I started writing in fourth grade and never stopped. I faked my way through high school and nearly was flushed from college - I still can't pay attention - and then had a series of day jobs. But always, continuously, I have written. "

" The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical and, as 'The Dog Master' reveals, it is biological - we evolved together. "

" Not too many people know it, but when I was in junior high, I was a pretty tough kid and was the leader of a street gang. Well, OK, it was less a street gang than an Ecology Club. We were pretty intimidating, though, and had our own meeting room until we got run out of there by a bunch of thugs from the Poetry Society. "

" 3D printers give us what we've all been craving: another reason to talk to technical support. When you finally get the thing working, though, you'll be able to print out your grocery list as a cube! When you look up directions online, you can print the map out on a globe! "

" Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Phone

Living

" I think I'm good at training dogs, but none of my dogs agree with me on that. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Training

Think

" The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information. "

" Without a dog, you'd never have anyone demonstrate how important it is to stop every day and smell the roses... and then lift your leg on them. "

" I know it sounds strange, but I'm one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee. "

" I have never been able to pay attention to anything for more than a few minutes - the stories in my head have always been so much more entertaining. Only books could pull me out of my own imagination, and then it was only to plunge me into someone else's. "

W. Bruce Cameron

Someone

Imagination