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" People say I make up wild stories. But all I have to do is write down stuff that really happens. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" Since change is constant, you wonder if people crave death because it's the only way they can get anything really finished. "

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" There will always be an underground. "

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" The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. "

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" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

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" In my family, we can't just sit and be together. We have to be shelling peas or husking corn or something. A larger task. Some way of being with people. "

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" In 'Diary,' the motto really is: 'Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?' It coaches us to be aware of our motives and not just be a reaction to the circumstances around us. "

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" I wouldn't get nearly as many books written if I lived in New York. The Columbia Gorge is fantastic. When the sun shines, I just want to be outdoors. "

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" There's a television show, 'Hoarders,' where people have those homes filled with stuff. Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything. "

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" My best advice for writers is: Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poorly - all these make for great stories. "

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" Why do the lives of writers seem so... train-wrecky? "

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" The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. "

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" We kind of deny the stages of life. "

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" I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing. "

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" I think America is just so in love with conflict. "

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" My goal is more to be remembered. They'll remember this thing and like it in the future. The trick is to stay remembered long enough for that to happen. "

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" I like to get people moving and jumping. I think it's good to add more emotion and chaos. "

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" Once I start writing, I can't stop. "

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" My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a book. If I can throw away all my hair, then I have the freedom to trash any part of the book on the next rewrite. "

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" Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money. "

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" Discovering the 'impossible' ending to a new book makes me sick with joy and relief. "

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" I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure. "

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" Verbs allow you to communicate a story in a much more converged or involuntary way for a reader. The verbs allow you to come in under the radar, below people's defenses. "

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" We don't have friends, so we watch 'Friends' on TV. "

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" One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they're able to revisit their own developmental stages and recognise themselves and undo a lot of things they decided. "

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" You realize you have no control over how you're perceived. "

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" I am enormously uncool. I've made a cottage industry of being uncool. And I'm fine with that. "

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" With a book, you're guaranteed the audience has a certain skill level and that the audience has to make an ongoing effort to consume this product and that the project is being consumed by just one person at a time. I really want to play to that strength because it's one of the few advantages books still have. "

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" The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly. "

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" Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality. "

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