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" People say, 'What's the secret to a marriage?' There's no secret - I think you get lucky. "

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" In the United States, there is a restaurant called The Outback Steakhouse, and I could survive in there for several weeks at least, sustaining myself on bloomin' onions and, I'm sure, their legitimate and very Australian cuisine. In the real Outback? I give myself about 14 minutes. "

" I tend not to be someone who's on all the time, or is always trying to make other people laugh. "

" Don't underestimate your kids. Don't be condescending, because they're children but they're not stupid. "

" I think in most relationships that have problems, there's fault on both sides. And in order for it to work, there has to be some common ground that's shared. And it's not just one person making amends. "

" I don't feel that I have to control every aspect of things that I appear in. You learn a lot performing someone else's writing. "

" Everybody wants to be a Bond villain. That is the coolest. To be able to portray a Bond villain, that is the feather in any actor's cap. "

" Divorce is fairly common these days, and I think many times people disregard the emotional impact that divorce has on a couple and a family, because it happens so frequently. "

" Like most people, I have painful memories of trying to fit in as a child. I wore, said, and did pretty much what everyone else did. "

" In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I'd work. "

" I'll do whatever I can do to remain employed. I'm just not precious about doing comedy or doing drama. I never want to do something in order to prove to other people what I can do. "

" For me, at least, all of my career goals, all of my focus, everything just shifted and the importance was my children, and that's where all the joy came from as well. "

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" I've thought a lot about success, because it's very strange to me that I've been successful. "

" If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk. "

" Actors and magicians are both performers, and they represent things that are not necessarily who they are. "

" Six-year-olds are very wrapped up in their own lives, and that's the way it should be. "

" I don't like to get angry. It doesn't make me feel good. It is very human, but it's also a loss of control, and I like to have that kind of control. "

" Anything nice that's said about me is diametrically opposed to who I am. "

" Once I moved to Chicago and started trying to get acting jobs, I just tended to book more things that were comedically based than anything else. I never had the preconceived notion, 'I will be a comedic actor.' I just thought, 'I'll go into acting and see what kind of work I can get.' "

" There's plenty of room for all sorts of movies and all sorts of comedies, so I never saw that as a competitive thing. I think there's room in the marketplace for everything. "

" I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian. "

" I'm a fun dad, but I don't know if I'm the fun, crazy dad. "

" Taste in comedy, like fashion, changes all the time. "

" I don't text, I don't have a Blackberry. Literally, I just have a cell phone that I haven't programmed and the whole Bluetooth. No. I don't even have an earpiece for my cell phone. "

" From cheesecake on a stick to meat skewers to deep-fried bananas on a stick - there are no plates anymore. In Los Angeles, everything has become a corn dog. Actually, corn dogs still work. But most other food should be stickless. "

" In an enclosed space, a camel's breath can change the atmosphere of the room. Not only just the smell, they literally seem to change the atmospheric pressure. It's so disgusting. It's like they have eight stomachs each more rancid then the next and it just comes out of their mouth. "

" My father is Italian, and I never met my paternal grandparents. The family name was 'Caroselli' and it was changed in the mid '50s. I think they wanted to assimilate, which was pretty common, although I love the name 'Caroselli.' "

" Whenever I hear someone describe something as a 'kids movie' or a 'family movie,' it immediately has a negative connotation in my mind because I think, 'Well, as an adult, I wouldn't go see it by myself, because it's purely for children and it holds nothing for me and it's simplistic and it's kind of easy.' "

" I'd love to do Broadway some day. Before I started doing television I was just a primarily a stage actor, but I haven't done it in a while. "

" Children are very smart, in their own stupid way. A child's brain is like a sponge, and you know how smart sponges are. "