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" Political discourse has become so rotten that it's no longer possible to tell the stench of one presidential candidate from the stink of another. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Possible
Political
Discourse
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" A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitches. It's as handy as bringing Homer along to recite the 'Iliad' while playing a lyre. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Kindle
Electronic
Us
" Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Navy
Dogs
Home
" The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gravity
Law
Laws
" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Say
You
Good
" President Obama has contempt for real money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
Obama
Real
" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Skill
Effort
Part
" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Status
Being
Alike
" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wisdom
1960s
Any
" I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Short
Black
Gay
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Religion
Experience
Good
" Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Got
Country
" Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Office
You
Mean
" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Dying
Child
" The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Country
Problem
Water
" In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dull
Responsibility
Government
" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tell
Family
Barn
" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
World
Men
" If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Corporations
Big
Government
" Why can't death - if we must have it - be always glorious, as in 'The Iliad?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Glorious
Always
Why
" The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jail
Accounting
Pay
" The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the various adventures they have on their way to those goals, good, bad, and otherwise. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Goals
Purpose
" I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Curtain
Behind
Iron
" Kids are disorganized. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Disorganized
Kids
" Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
Smart
Person
" When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're in shorts and T-shirts. And it's not just on airplanes. It's in business offices, teachers' lounges, and churches. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Teachers
Men
Me
" No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Journalism
Memory
Print
" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Freedom
Nation
" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Critics
President