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" No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Journalism
Memory
Print
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" Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Home
Past
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" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Terrible
Writing
" I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sometimes
Enjoy
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" To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Work
Job
Look
" The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Go
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" What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
People
Test
" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Money
Something
" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Down
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You
" Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Head
Own
Well
" Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Joy
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Hope
" Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Positive
Health
Education
" There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Race
Religion
Two
" Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Navy
Dogs
Home
" Philosophy was once considered science. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Science
Considered
Philosophy
" The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Space
Age
Furniture
" There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Only
Economic
Growth
" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sense Of Humor
Humor
Exercise
" When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked onto your bill, to cover the medical expenses of someone who doesn't have a job and/or insurance and can't pay the hospital. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Job
You
Hospital
" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Important
More
Cleanliness
" Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
Less
Nothing
" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Strange
Digital
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Need
Nature
Government
" The more aspects of life that can be moved from private reign to public realm, the better it is for politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
Public
Better
" There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sports
World
Slow
" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Your
Unfaithful
" One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Army
You
Journalist
" I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' "
P. J. O'Rourke
New York
You
City
" There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Point Of View
View
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" My life would have gone along perfectly well, politically speaking, if it hadn't been for girls. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gone
Been
My Life