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" The closer the look one takes at a word, the greater distance from which it looks back. "

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" Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis. "

" Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former. "

" To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all. "

" I and life: The case was settled chivalrously. The opponents parted without having made up. "

" Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust. "

" Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave. "

" A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer. "

" Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots. "

" The mission of the press is to spread culture while destroying the attention span. "

" I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am. "

" I don't like to meddle in my private affairs. "

" Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess. "

" It is better not to express what one means than to express what one does not mean. "

" A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants. "

" Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays. "

" Language is the mother of thought, not its handmaiden. "

" An idea's birth is legitimate if one has the feeling that one is catching oneself plagiarizing oneself. "

" Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis. "

" If the reporter has killed our imagination with his truth, he threatens our life with his lies. "

" Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write. "

" When a man is treated like a beast, he says, 'After all, I'm human.' When he behaves like a beast, he says 'After all, I'm only human.' "

" The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant. "

" There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything. "

" He who does without the praise of the crowd will not deny himself an opportunity to be his own adherent. "

" Christian morality prefers remorse to precede lust, and then lust not to follow. "

" Squeeze human nature into the straitjacket of criminal justice and crime will appear. "

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" Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children? "

" A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. "