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" When relationships don't work out, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you weren't meant to be together. "
Tracy McMillan
Relationships
Bad
You
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" Caring - about people, about things, about life - is an act of maturity. "
Tracy McMillan
People
Life
Caring
" Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships - someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours. "
Tracy McMillan
You
Help
I Can
" I think of masculine and feminine energy like two sides to a battery. There's a plus side and a minus side, and in order to make something turn on, you need to have opposites touching. It's the same in relationships. "
Tracy McMillan
Need
You
Think
" Yes, I have 'failed' at marriage - a lot. "
Tracy McMillan
Failed
Yes
Marriage
" One of the beautiful things about men is that they're very in the moment. That's why they don't want to have an argument about what happened six months ago. "
Tracy McMillan
Beautiful
Moment
Argument
" Here's the thing: you're not really ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you met your exact self, but in a guy, you would totally, completely, absolutely want to be with him. "
Tracy McMillan
Love
Self
Enough
" Is our desire for partnership just an evolutionary remainder, a Togetherness Delusion, where millions of women only think they need a relationship to be truly happy? Maybe. But you know what? That's fine with me. "
Tracy McMillan
Women
Relationship
Think
" Being all about me is not a good thing - I don't care what 1978 tried to say - because as long as you mostly think about yourself, you're not going to be a wonderful person. You're just not. "
Tracy McMillan
Good
Me
Think
" Sometime between when the Summer of Love ended and the Summer of Sam began, America became a nation of cynics about love. "
Tracy McMillan
Summer
America
Love
" Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men. "
Tracy McMillan
Women
Bad
Men
" Rather than diminishing the idea of 'truly needing' a relationship - and trying to deny it, shame it, or talk ourselves out of it - why not just celebrate it? It's exactly what the world needs. "
Tracy McMillan
Relationship
Trying
World
" Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor. "
Tracy McMillan
Write
Humor
Television
" All of us, consciously or unconsciously, set out to have the best possible love life. Valentine's Day simply shines a light on the degree to which that didn't - or hasn't yet - materialized. "
Tracy McMillan
Life
Love Life
Love
" I'm a blunt person, not mean-spirited. I come from a place of love, but I'm interested in being real. "
Tracy McMillan
Real
Come
Person
" Being in a relationship is a hard, painful slog at least once a week, maybe more often - especially if you have a lot of defenses to let down, or if your parents didn't know how to love you very well. "
Tracy McMillan
Parents
Week
Relationship
" Though it's safe to say there are a whole lotta American gals who agree with the core ideals of feminism, they are somehow nevertheless watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' by the millions. "
Tracy McMillan
Safe
Say
American
" Relationships are like the world's most intense yoga! It's a daily practice. "
Tracy McMillan
Relationships
Practice
World
" The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. "
Tracy McMillan
Nice
Someone
Want
" Work is a different type of pursuit than relationships. You can't take the skills that you know that have gotten you into that great school or into that great job and apply them to your relationships. "
Tracy McMillan
School
Know
Job
" If I had an office job, I'd probably be doing the exact same thing I'm doing on television: hanging out by the water cooler and talking to co-workers about their relationships. "
Tracy McMillan
Water
Doing
Television
" I feel that as long as you're honest, you have the opportunity to grow. It's when you shut down, go into denial, and try to start hiding things from yourself and others, that's when you lock in certain behaviors and attitudes that keep you stuck. "
Tracy McMillan
Opportunity
Yourself
You
" Ask anyone who has been in a love relationship for a while: nothing is perfect. "
Tracy McMillan
Perfect
Love
Relationship
" Putting my words piece online was an important part of my plan to help women learn how to love themselves and have a better life. "
Tracy McMillan
Words
Better
Love
" Somehow, married or single, we'd rather anesthetize ourselves with love substitutes than go for the real thing, because let's face it: The real thing is pretty scary. "
Tracy McMillan
Face
Single
Scary
" We have this false idea in our culture that if you haven't made it by 30, then you're never going to do anything interesting. My 40s have been the most incredible time of my life. "
Tracy McMillan
Never
My Life
Culture
" People who find that they have a lot of drama in their relationships need to allow themselves to get 'bored'. At first, it will feel excruciating, and they may find themselves confronting a very real fear underneath all that drama: being truly close and therefore vulnerable to another human being. "
Tracy McMillan
Feel
People
Drama
" Lots of people feel more alive when they're riding a roller-coaster relationship. But while this might be fun for a while, it can't possibly last. "
Tracy McMillan
Relationship
Feel
Alive
" There is no such thing as 'getting' a guy, house and kids. There is only surrendering to them. "
Tracy McMillan
House
Getting
Only
" I've been standing at water coolers for the past thirty years talking to women about their love lives, and here's what I've learned: Eventually, most women I know want to be partnered. "
Tracy McMillan
Know
Past
Talking
" For every year past the age of 27, you need to take another step toward commitment somewhere in your life. Instead of freelancing, you get a staff job. Instead of renting, you buy. Fine, instead of couch-surfing, you rent. "
Tracy McMillan
Job
Age
Commitment