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" I've been standing at water coolers for the past thirty years talking to women about their love lives, and here's what I've learned: Eventually, most women I know want to be partnered. "

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" People who find that they have a lot of drama in their relationships need to allow themselves to get 'bored'. At first, it will feel excruciating, and they may find themselves confronting a very real fear underneath all that drama: being truly close and therefore vulnerable to another human being. "

Tracy McMillan

Feel

People

Drama

" For every year past the age of 27, you need to take another step toward commitment somewhere in your life. Instead of freelancing, you get a staff job. Instead of renting, you buy. Fine, instead of couch-surfing, you rent. "

" Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men. "

" The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. "

" Lots of people feel more alive when they're riding a roller-coaster relationship. But while this might be fun for a while, it can't possibly last. "

" Rather than diminishing the idea of 'truly needing' a relationship - and trying to deny it, shame it, or talk ourselves out of it - why not just celebrate it? It's exactly what the world needs. "

" Here's the thing: you're not really ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you met your exact self, but in a guy, you would totally, completely, absolutely want to be with him. "

" If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. "

" Being all about me is not a good thing - I don't care what 1978 tried to say - because as long as you mostly think about yourself, you're not going to be a wonderful person. You're just not. "

Tracy McMillan

Good

Think

" Women blame men for their own singlehood. "

" Sometime between when the Summer of Love ended and the Summer of Sam began, America became a nation of cynics about love. "

" Somehow, married or single, we'd rather anesthetize ourselves with love substitutes than go for the real thing, because let's face it: The real thing is pretty scary. "

" I think of masculine and feminine energy like two sides to a battery. There's a plus side and a minus side, and in order to make something turn on, you need to have opposites touching. It's the same in relationships. "

" I talk to women for a living. It's pretty much what I do with my day. "

" The thing is, relationships never work out... until they do. You learn a lot from relationships that don't work out. "

" Putting my words piece online was an important part of my plan to help women learn how to love themselves and have a better life. "

" One of the beautiful things about men is that they're very in the moment. That's why they don't want to have an argument about what happened six months ago. "

" Relationships are like the world's most intense yoga! It's a daily practice. "

" If I had an office job, I'd probably be doing the exact same thing I'm doing on television: hanging out by the water cooler and talking to co-workers about their relationships. "

" Work is a different type of pursuit than relationships. You can't take the skills that you know that have gotten you into that great school or into that great job and apply them to your relationships. "

" I think every woman has this point in her life where she's like, 'I have a great job, great outfits and great friends, but something's missing.' "

" Is our desire for partnership just an evolutionary remainder, a Togetherness Delusion, where millions of women only think they need a relationship to be truly happy? Maybe. But you know what? That's fine with me. "

" All of us, consciously or unconsciously, set out to have the best possible love life. Valentine's Day simply shines a light on the degree to which that didn't - or hasn't yet - materialized. "

" A sure-fire way to know you're crazy is if more than one person has told you you'd be great on a reality show - and you agree with them. "

" Ask anyone who has been in a love relationship for a while: nothing is perfect. "

" Being in a relationship is a hard, painful slog at least once a week, maybe more often - especially if you have a lot of defenses to let down, or if your parents didn't know how to love you very well. "

" When relationships don't work out, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you weren't meant to be together. "

" Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor. "

" I'm a blunt person, not mean-spirited. I come from a place of love, but I'm interested in being real. "

" There is no such thing as 'getting' a guy, house and kids. There is only surrendering to them. "