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" Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships - someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours. "

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" I've been standing at water coolers for the past thirty years talking to women about their love lives, and here's what I've learned: Eventually, most women I know want to be partnered. "

Tracy McMillan

Know

Past

Talking

" Women with low self-esteem love bad boys. Women who have work to do love bad boys. Women who love themselves love good men. "

" Being in a relationship is a hard, painful slog at least once a week, maybe more often - especially if you have a lot of defenses to let down, or if your parents didn't know how to love you very well. "

" For every year past the age of 27, you need to take another step toward commitment somewhere in your life. Instead of freelancing, you get a staff job. Instead of renting, you buy. Fine, instead of couch-surfing, you rent. "

" Is our desire for partnership just an evolutionary remainder, a Togetherness Delusion, where millions of women only think they need a relationship to be truly happy? Maybe. But you know what? That's fine with me. "

" You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way. "

" Here's the thing: you're not really ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you met your exact self, but in a guy, you would totally, completely, absolutely want to be with him. "

" People who find that they have a lot of drama in their relationships need to allow themselves to get 'bored'. At first, it will feel excruciating, and they may find themselves confronting a very real fear underneath all that drama: being truly close and therefore vulnerable to another human being. "

" Being all about me is not a good thing - I don't care what 1978 tried to say - because as long as you mostly think about yourself, you're not going to be a wonderful person. You're just not. "

Tracy McMillan

Good

Think

" Caring - about people, about things, about life - is an act of maturity. "

" Relationships are like the world's most intense yoga! It's a daily practice. "

" Somehow, married or single, we'd rather anesthetize ourselves with love substitutes than go for the real thing, because let's face it: The real thing is pretty scary. "

" Rather than diminishing the idea of 'truly needing' a relationship - and trying to deny it, shame it, or talk ourselves out of it - why not just celebrate it? It's exactly what the world needs. "

" I think of masculine and feminine energy like two sides to a battery. There's a plus side and a minus side, and in order to make something turn on, you need to have opposites touching. It's the same in relationships. "

" I talk to women for a living. It's pretty much what I do with my day. "

" I feel that as long as you're honest, you have the opportunity to grow. It's when you shut down, go into denial, and try to start hiding things from yourself and others, that's when you lock in certain behaviors and attitudes that keep you stuck. "

" When relationships don't work out, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you weren't meant to be together. "

" One of the beautiful things about men is that they're very in the moment. That's why they don't want to have an argument about what happened six months ago. "

" Women blame men for their own singlehood. "

" Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor. "

" A sure-fire way to know you're crazy is if more than one person has told you you'd be great on a reality show - and you agree with them. "

" I'm a blunt person, not mean-spirited. I come from a place of love, but I'm interested in being real. "

" Putting my words piece online was an important part of my plan to help women learn how to love themselves and have a better life. "

" If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. "

" Sometime between when the Summer of Love ended and the Summer of Sam began, America became a nation of cynics about love. "

" Though it's safe to say there are a whole lotta American gals who agree with the core ideals of feminism, they are somehow nevertheless watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' by the millions. "

" I think every woman has this point in her life where she's like, 'I have a great job, great outfits and great friends, but something's missing.' "

" I'm the straight-talking woman in your life who is going to be really honest with you, but come from a place of love. I'm not talking down to you; I do this from my heart. "

" We have this false idea in our culture that if you haven't made it by 30, then you're never going to do anything interesting. My 40s have been the most incredible time of my life. "

" The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. "