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" You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you're at the window. "

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" My dad was a laborer. And he used to get up at 5:30 every morning. He worked for 50 years of his life, in all weathers for, by showbiz standards, petty cash. I remind myself of that when I feel a little bit spoiled or hard done by. "

" The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen. "

" I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars. "

" Proper stupidity is fascinating. "

" I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes. "

" I was very protective of my privacy. I didn't want people to write bad things about me that weren't true, because that's just not fair. Fifty percent of everything written about me is wrong. "

" Even on the stage, I've played a bit of a persona, and the persona I played was a much brasher, more arrogant, less aware, less educated version of me. "

" That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it. "

" People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous - they do bad things because they're rewarded for it. "

" My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not. I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself. "

" I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough. "

" You give up a lot being an atheist. "

" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.' "

" I think all art - even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities - is there to make a connection. "

" Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away. "

" Oh, let's face it: I hate everything in others. "

" Sometimes being old is used as an insult, which is bizarre because, if you're lucky, that's literally going to happen to you. It's a strange thing to gloat about: being born recently. "

" I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.' "

" The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty. "

" I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny. "

" Free speech is one of the most important things to me, but I think it gets confusing when it comes to offense. Because for one, just because you have the right to say anything, it doesn't mean you have to. "

" I'm influenced by those '40s, '50s, and '60s films: things like 'The Apartment' - I was a big fan of Billy Wilder. "

" When I see a headline 'Guess who's going out with who?' I don't guess, and I don't click. "

" There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything. "

" I think I'm pretty self-aware. "

" When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins. "

" There's nothing wrong with being respected by your peers. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best. There's nothing wrong with success. There's not even anything wrong with trying to get a raise. There's nothing wrong with that. "

" I always do a little bit of improv. I did some of 'The Office,' a tiny bit in 'Extras,' a bit more in 'Derek.' "

" Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny. "