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" I'm influenced by those '40s, '50s, and '60s films: things like 'The Apartment' - I was a big fan of Billy Wilder. "

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" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got. "

" Karl Pilkington has the roundest head, I think, in the world. It's not technically a deformity, but I've never seen anything quite that spherical. "

" Even I can't talk about myself for an hour. "

" When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins. "

" I love UFC, vigilante films, and any acts of merciless heroism. "

" There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything. "

" Proper stupidity is fascinating. "

" Making people laugh is easy for me. I'm quite proud of that. But I'm prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they're thinking about something. "

" Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming! "

" I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about. "

" With Netflix, I browse; I watch documentaries about things I'd never dream of, but I think, 'I might as well.' "

" Humor is to get us over terrible things. "

" I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes. "

" I remember asking my mum when I was about 13, 'Why are my brothers and sister so much older than me?' And she just said, 'You were a mistake.' And I laughed. "

" I don't believe in ghosts or ESP or elves... or God. But I am spiritual in the sense that I get a lump in my throat when I listen to Vaughan Williams. "

" Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn't matter what you believe. "

" Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun. "

" The second series is always my favourite as a writer/director; you can hit the ground running... so that's fun. "

" If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it. "

" Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years' time, that wouldn't come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they'd all be back because all the same tests would be the same result. "

" With the Internet era and social media and politics being so out there with the lies, now you've got people denying things they're on camera doing, and then you've got people not really caring about the truth. You've got people supporting people who've done horrific things, but just don't want the other side to get any satisfaction. "

" Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don't know... it's still the Holy Grail. "

" I'm an optimist. "

" I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food. "

" I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing. "

" I've been lucky enough to be able to choose exactly where I want to live. "

" Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are. "

" My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not. I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself. "

" I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself. "