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" You give up a lot being an atheist. "

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" When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins. "

" If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it. "

" I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is. "

" I was very protective of my privacy. I didn't want people to write bad things about me that weren't true, because that's just not fair. Fifty percent of everything written about me is wrong. "

" I lift weights. Then I put them down again. "

" You should make something. You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, 'I did that.' "

" I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine. "

" I am myself sometimes, and I do state my opinions, but not in a comedy routine and not in my character. There always has to be some sort of layer to it. "

" I'm an optimist. "

" The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty. "

" You can laugh at anything. It depends on the joke. "

" When I go to work, I don't want to make depressing, gritty, urban stories that are depressing to watch. I want to give people something to enjoy. When people think I'm a control freak and an ogre - which I am - it's only because I want my work to be accessible and Everyman, in a way. "

" Look, just tell me where that lemon came from and I'll shut up and go away. "

" Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming! "

" To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough. "

Not Good Enough

" There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything. "

" What makes 'Derek' a different kind of sitcom - if it is even a sitcom - is its sincerity. "

" I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to be funny. "

" Where there's a will - there's a relative! "

" I don't know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It's like a religion. He's a school bully. "

" Making people laugh is easy for me. I'm quite proud of that. But I'm prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they're thinking about something. "

" There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough. "

" I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important. "

" Even I can't talk about myself for an hour. "

" Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn't matter what you believe. "

" I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.' "

" Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun. "

" Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are. "

" The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen. "

" I'm a fan of the kind of political correctness that is about not promoting prejudice. But some people in America are offended by equality because when you've had privilege for so long, equality feels like oppression. "