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" I do the Golden Globes because they say I can say what I want. I wouldn't have that at the Oscars. "

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" I remember asking my mum when I was about 13, 'Why are my brothers and sister so much older than me?' And she just said, 'You were a mistake.' And I laughed. "

" You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you're at the window. "

" I think all art - even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities - is there to make a connection. "

" That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it. "

" Believe it or not, I work out regularly. "

" There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything. "

" Making people laugh is easy for me. I'm quite proud of that. But I'm prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they're thinking about something. "

" I think being nice is more important than being clever. "

" I think it's important to hold a mirror up to society and yourself. "

" I'd never tried as hard with anything as I did with 'The Office,' and it was one of the things I'm proud of. I wasn't trying to be famous or a comedian, but this opportunity came along when I was 38 or 39. It came late, and I couldn't have been prouder of it. "

" I think you can make fun of anything except things people can't help. They can't help their race or their sex or their age, so you ridicule their pretension or their ego instead. You can ridicule ideas - ideas don't have feelings. You can ridicule an idea that someone holds without hurting them. "

" I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre. "

" I'm a fan of the kind of political correctness that is about not promoting prejudice. But some people in America are offended by equality because when you've had privilege for so long, equality feels like oppression. "

" There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough. "

" I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian. "

" Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming! "

" I always do a little bit of improv. I did some of 'The Office,' a tiny bit in 'Extras,' a bit more in 'Derek.' "

" Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years' time, that wouldn't come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they'd all be back because all the same tests would be the same result. "

" I could always take a joke. I could always be the butt of the joke. I could always hand it out. That was just who I was. "

" I like flying to New York from London. It's like a day off for me. No phone or e-mails. Food, wine, iPod, movies, snoozing. "

" Let's be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool. "

" I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet. "

" I think comedies should be short. I don't want to be self-indulgent; I don't want a two-hour comedy. "

" Humor is to get us over terrible things. "

" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough. "

Not Good Enough

" With Netflix, I browse; I watch documentaries about things I'd never dream of, but I think, 'I might as well.' "

" I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine. "

" How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace - often through no fault of their own - and then go on a show like 'Celebrity Big Brother' and say, 'I want to show the public a different side of me.' And I'm screaming at the telly going, 'This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!' "

" I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well. "