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" You can give poor people this royal wedding to watch and make them feel good about themselves, or you can give them something useful like, I don't know... a toaster. "
" I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white. "
" You got to take a deep breath and give up. The system is rigged against you. "
Take A Deep Breath
" When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much. "
" Life, to me, doesn't feel like a straightforward story; it doesn't make sense for me to get up there and just tell a story. Life feels like what my show feels like: chaotic and strange and disconnected. "
" I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. "
" I'll stop when I think I'm not doing good stuff. I'll never exploit something just because people like it. "
" A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. "
" I know I'm probably digging for fresh fruit in the garbage, and as much as anyone, my attitude is, if stuff's sincere, it's gooey and boring and uninteresting. But it's no way to live. "
" I don't think I've had a job since I worked for my father's construction company. "
" I'm getting married because I'm in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You can't live your life doing what other people want you to or you'll be miserable. At some point you just have to be yourself. "
" I want to be a simple bride when I get married. I want a beach wedding where I am running around on the sand in a white dress. "
" I don't want to put meaning on what I do because I don't know what it is. "
" Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or a god, which some people do. This might just be in America, but 'stand-up comedy' is something very particular that I don't particularly relate to. "
" There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind. "
" I would say don't take advice from people like me who have gotten very lucky. We're very biased. You know, like Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner telling you, 'Liquidize your assets; buy Powerball tickets - it works!' "
" Not enough comedy makes you feel something. "
" I write about what I know: teenage dating, overly charged sexuality, all the things that make you uncomfortable. "
" Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy. "
" For most couples, the first event they plan together is their wedding. "
" I think I wear my hypocrisy on my sleeve. I would never say I'm not a complete hypocrite. "
" I fully embrace myself as a hypocrite. "
" I always loved bands who would try to change their sound radically album to album, experiment in one album and revert back in another. "
" You have to make your wedding day all about you. "
DJ Jazzy Jeff
" I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make. "
" Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding - yikes! "
Falling In Love
" I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it. "
" A wedding dress is both an intimate and personal for a woman - it must reflect the personality and style of the bride. "
" A young bride is like a plucked flower; but a guilty wife is like a flower that had been walked over. "
Honore de Balzac
" I don't want to monitor my audience too closely, as that can really drive you crazy. "
" There is such an emotional connection between the bride and her wedding dress, whereas in ready-to-wear you may just be focusing on color or prints for that particular season. "