Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

All Quotes by author - Groucho Marx

" A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. "

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. "

" Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. "

" All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. "

" A man's only as old as the woman he feels. "

" Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. "

" A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. "

" Before I speak, I have something important to say. "

" Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. "

" Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. "

" From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. "

" Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. "

" Go, and never darken my towels again. "

" Humor is reason gone mad. "

" I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. "

" I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. "

" If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. "

" I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. "

" If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. "

" I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. "

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

" I intend to live forever, or die trying. "

" I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. "

" I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. "

" I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "

" I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. "

" I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. "

" In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. "

" I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "

Check our other websites: