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" You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up. "

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" I'm fascinated by how you'll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you're doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape. "

Dylan Moran

Over

Change

Doing

" I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it. "

" The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line. "

" I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself. "

" America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in. "

" I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well. "

Dylan Moran

Own

Feel

" I fear we might be losing the basic human facility to be alone - and with that you throw out independent decision-making, what to trust, what not to trust; key stuff - a perilous loss. "

" The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job. "

" Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't. "

" Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.' "

" Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once. "

" I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything. "

" I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter; it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence. "

" In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways. "

Dylan Moran

Inside

Same

" When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing. "

" I don't really think of myself as an actor. "

" One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing. "

Dylan Moran

One Thing

You

" What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me... there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal. "

" Do your own thing. Speak in your voice. "

" When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office. "

" I was very into New Order, Joy Division, all of that when I was younger. I had a lot of bootlegs that I saved up my pocket money to buy. I had all the obscure early EPs. "

Dylan Moran

Division

Joy

" Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house. "

" You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way. "

" I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything. "

" Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20. "

Dylan Moran

Valuable

Activity

" Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written. "

" It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book. "

" I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom. "

" People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' "

Dylan Moran

People

Time

" When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves. "