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" Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. "

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" At my age flowers scare me. "

" I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. "

" First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. "

" How can I die? I'm booked. "

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" The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. "

" If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. "

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" This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. "

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" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "

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" Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. "

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" You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. "