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" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

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" Tell me I'm beautiful, it's nothing. Tell me I'm intellectual - I know it. Tell me I'm funny, and it's the greatest compliment in the world anyone could give me. "

" I comment on my friends' things; whatever they post, I post funny posts. I don't post anything that's too sad or mad, or at least not for too long. And I'm usually just a happy person! Silly - people would describe me as silly and crazy and fun. "

" I just want to be myself and be real and be funny. "

" I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights. "

" A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. "

" Everybody complains about getting older, but I find it such a rich time of life. There are negative things about it, I suppose, but more than that, I'm finding it to be a very positive experience in which growth suggests itself in a much more alluring way than it did when I was young - isn't that funny? "

" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "

" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "

" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

Alfred Hitchcock

" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "

" I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. "

" You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny. "

" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "

" All men are equal before fish. "

" Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. "

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

" I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way. "

" The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. "

Thomas A. Edison

" I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. "

Paula Poundstone

" Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble. "

" When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny. "

" If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! "

" Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. "

" Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. "

" I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. "

" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "