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" It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. "
Mike Birbiglia
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" In real life, I first started sleep walking in high school because that was when this concept of getting into college first appeared. I had this moment of, 'Oh! This is going to affect the rest of my life.' "
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" Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience. "
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" I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. "
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" The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought. "
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" My wife and I always comment that our lives are relatively mundane. She's a writer as well, I'm a writer, we spend most of our time writing, and kind of going to yoga in Brooklyn. "
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" Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. "
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" Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist. "
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" I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. "
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" I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians. "
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" There are comedians who focus on everything that is external. They focus on politics and the news, what's going on in that city and that night. "
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" Sometimes you'll have a heckler who's actually attempting to be supportive, but you don't realize it. Their way of expressing it is kind of confusing. "
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" I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. "
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" You know the expression, 'You're only as sick as your secrets?' I believe that, and I think I try to have my work live by that to a degree. "
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" The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately. "
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" The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short. "
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" When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn't open the sleeping bag. "
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" Film is so immersive. "
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" I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad, and just say, 'This is the part I agree with that you're saying, and these are the parts I don't agree with.' "
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" I feel like being a door person was like college in a sense. I could watch comedy on a professional level seven nights a week without paying, and they would pay me a nominal amount of money to be there. "
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" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "
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" One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the break-up. "
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" I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy. "
Mike Birbiglia
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" I just don't give off a great first impression. "
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" I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. "
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" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "
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" Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.' "
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" When I was growing up, I didn't know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish. "
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" I love Broadway shows. "
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" I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.' "
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" I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film. "
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