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" I love Broadway shows. "
Mike Birbiglia
Shows
Love
I Love
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" My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "
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Go
Through
" If you're asked something on a movie set and you say 'I don't know,' you lose confidence in every department. What you need to say is 'I'll have that for you in five minutes.' "
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" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "
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Down
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" I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote 'The Dark Knight' with Chris, his brother. He wrote 'The Prestige,' the story for 'Memento.' "
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Strong
Who
Class
" Sometimes, occasionally, people will make out in the audience, completely not aware that there's a human being onstage just yards away from them, who can see them. Sometimes people think that you're on television while you're onstage, so you're not even a person. "
Mike Birbiglia
You
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People
" Prose is all about embellishing and describing. "
Mike Birbiglia
Prose
About
Describing
" I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans. "
Mike Birbiglia
Funny
Find
Most
" I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I'm looking for ways to try something else. "
Mike Birbiglia
Uncomfortable
Sometimes
Night
" I love 'Bullets Over Broadway,' but I'm pretty sure Woody Allen hasn't killed somebody. "
Mike Birbiglia
Broadway
Bullets
Pretty
" Film is so immersive. "
Mike Birbiglia
Film
" Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams. "
Mike Birbiglia
Your Dreams
Body
Dreams
" I listened to this interview once with Jerry Seinfeld that really influenced my comedy and all of my writing, which is that when you're starting out in comedy, it's the audience that tells you what's funny about you. And you need to listen to that and make a note of that. "
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Writing
You
Out
" The way I view comedy clubs is, people are drinking, they're ordering food, they're out for the night, and there's also a person onstage talking. And with the theater, they came to the theater, and they're waiting to hear what you say. So you'd better have something to say. "
Mike Birbiglia
Night
Waiting
You
" When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate. "
Mike Birbiglia
Everyone
New
Hate
" You know the expression, 'You're only as sick as your secrets?' I believe that, and I think I try to have my work live by that to a degree. "
Mike Birbiglia
Know
Live
Sick
" I grew up in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and went to college in Washington D.C. "
Mike Birbiglia
Massachusetts
Washington
Up
" As artists, we'd all love to not be commercial - to not sell out to the full extent that we are able. But you do what you have to do to pay New York rent and continue to do what you feel strongly about. "
Mike Birbiglia
New York
You
Rent
" I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk. "
Mike Birbiglia
Angry
Writing
Think
" I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical. "
Mike Birbiglia
Show
Autobiographical
Write
" The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short. "
Mike Birbiglia
Fun
Short
List
" One of my favorite comedies of all time is 'Terms of Endearment;' that's my pace. "
Mike Birbiglia
Comedies
Pace
Terms
" I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film. "
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College
Career
" My wife and I always comment that our lives are relatively mundane. She's a writer as well, I'm a writer, we spend most of our time writing, and kind of going to yoga in Brooklyn. "
Mike Birbiglia
Kind
Writing
Wife
" The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. "
Mike Birbiglia
One Thing
Tell
You
" There's nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school. "
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High School
Time
Funny
" I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, 'No, no, you've got to listen to my story!' I'm like, 'Step aside, everybody. I'm going to blow the doors off this place.' "
Mike Birbiglia
Doors
You
Story
" I'm incapable of feeling any joy. "
Mike Birbiglia
Any
Joy
Incapable
" Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. "
Mike Birbiglia
Show
Short Films
Much
" Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways. "
Mike Birbiglia
Together
Us
Bring