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" When I put on my Marine cover, I'm a Marine, and I act accordingly. "

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" A lot of people think, 'Oh, you made 'SNL.' You're set. You're good.' No. All there is gigs, and you go from one gig to another. And hopefully you get a good gig, and it lasts for a while, and you get good work and people remember it, and you have good memories of it. "

" I have a fondness for Georgetown. There's always some place in Georgetown that has a bunch of people that look like they're having fun, watching the game. Go in there, grab a pint. It's the best. "

" I'm a Kansas City kid, so I love my Royals and Chiefs. I went to the University of Kansas, so I love the Jayhawks. But I live in L.A., so I'm a fan of the Dodgers. "

" We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal. "

" Honestly, you could beat me, torture me - just don't bore me. "

" In high school, I was voted 'Most Humorous' in my senior class. "

" Whenever I'm given a chance to support veterans' initiatives, I try to do that. Children and veterans - if they're involved, you can pretty much count me in. "

" I had just left 'Saturday Night Live' when I came to 'The Daily Show,' and it just felt like Jon was on my side. I'll always be grateful to him for that. I just got the impression he wanted me to succeed, and then I wanted to succeed for him. I think that's good leadership. "

" When you're leading Marines, you don't screw around, so the comedy is limited in uniform. And when you're a comedian, you can't be heavy handed and come across with tales of gore or material that people won't understand, so I try to keep them separate. "

" You never want to just be outrageous for outrageous' sake 'cause then it doesn't work, and it's not believable. You want to be as true to whatever character you're playing. "

" As a comedian, I'm always quoting 'Caddyshack' and 'Dumb and Dumber.' "

" I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights. "

" The comedy seeds were planted before the Marine seeds. The thought of comedy never happening was scary. When you have a plan, you never know what will happen. "

" I never got into the horror genre, and action was fine, but I just loved comedy. Any comedy I could get my hands on, I would. I watched 'Saturday Night Live' religiously. "

" I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love. "

" You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan. "

" I've written several pilots that haven't gone, so that's why you haven't seen any. "

" For the most part, I keep playing big knuckleheads who are like bulls in a china shop. "

" Just take yourself back to September 2001. As that month went on, and as that autumn unrolled, everybody wanted to do something. How can I help? Do you want my blood? Do you want money for the victims? I was a captain in the Marine Corps. I knew what I could do. I was right there. I was ready. I saw it. I moved the rubble with my own hands. "

" I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college. "

" Honestly, I just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep working. At the end of the day, that's usually one of those things that's going to get you ahead. "

" I don't mind it so much if I get type cast as an authority figure. I get to do comedy no matter what it is, so it doesn't bother me. "

" I love improv so much. Listening. I think that's the key. When you improvise, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to create, and to be generating information, and trying to be funny, but if you just listen to what's being said to you, and then react honestly, you generally get better results. "

" That's a good sign for a movie: When it becomes part of the lexicon and pop culture for an entire generation. I've been in many movies, luckily, that get quoted. "

" Look, here's the deal: The Chiefs' fate and the Royals' fate, that's my fate. "

" I need a coffee, I'm a cold coffee guy. That's how I do. "

" Changing the conversation about how Americans perceive veterans is really important. These are hardworking, dedicated, innovative people who deserve quality employment when they return home from their military service. "

" I am one of those guys that's an optimist. I am always optimistic. I don't know how you can be any other way. "

" I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity. "

" Hopefully, I'm not stealing scenes from other actors, because then they won't want to work with me. "