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" For thy sake, tobacco, I would do anything but die. "

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" The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth and have it found out by accident. "

" Nothing puzzles me more than the time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less. "

" Some people have a knack of putting upon you gifts of no real value, to engage you to substantial gratitude. We thank them for nothing. "

" My motto is: Contented with little, yet wishing for more. "

" Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral. "

" New Year's Day is every man's birthday. "

" I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. "

" Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. "

" Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. "

" My theory is to enjoy life, but the practice is against it. "

" The beggar wears all colors fearing none. "

" A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect. "

" Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. "

" Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. "

" Pain is life - the sharper, the more evidence of life. "

" A book reads the better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of its blots, and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins. "

" The red-letter days, now become, to all intents and purposes, dead-letter days. "

" What is reading, but silent conversation. "

" Let us live for the beauty of our own reality. "

" Cards are war, in disguise of a sport. "

" Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts. "

" We gain nothing by being with such as ourselves. We encourage one another in mediocrity. I am always longing to be with men more excellent than myself. "

" I have had playmates, I have had companions; In my days of childhood, in my joyful school days - All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. "

" I love to lose myself in other men's minds. "