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" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "

Emily V. Gordon

Man

Relationship

Conflict

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" I grew up in a town where there were no Muslims whatsoever, and there was not a lot of exposure. "

" We all have an idea of how we like to be treated that we would like others to adhere to, and somehow we've gotten in our heads that the perfect person for us will just know what this code of behavior is. "

" Sometimes we are much better at judging people based on how they treat everyone other than ourselves. We make a million excuses for why they treat us how they do. "

" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

Powerful

Time

" If you've experienced cheating in a new marriage, the real work is not obsessively combing through all the details of what happened, but rather figuring out if your relationship is worth saving. "

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

" Things can be tough even when surrounded by nice Pottery Barn stuff. "

" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "

" I have multiple tattoos. "

Emily V. Gordon

Multiple

Tattoos

" I am fairly convinced that people plan destination weddings because they would actually like to elope but want to have given you the option to attend. "

" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "

" I think it's always good to get into your partner's mindset. "

" It's easy to isolate yourself when you're buried in work, or to rely only on work friends for empathy. And while your work friends will always 'get it' more than your life partner, they don't know how to comfort you like your partner does. "

" Sometimes new spouses don't fully process the commitment they've made until after the deal is done, and then they panic. "

" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "

Emily V. Gordon

Sometimes

Television

" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

" If a show is a critical success but a ratings flop, I assume that people are just championing the show because it looks cool to root for an underdog. "

" Being completely independent doesn't make you a strong woman - it's being strong enough to trust yourself in other people's hands that takes guts. "

" I thought of 'The Big Sick' as a placeholder title, to be completely honest. I've grown to love it. "

" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

" Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. "

" It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre. "

" For so long, TV consisted of a limited number of shows a year, and those shows had to appeal to as many people as possible. The joy of TV now is that shows don't have to be broad anymore - they can be small, weird, and niche. "

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "