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" Divorce is one of the most destructive, emotionally traumatic experiences a human being can go through, no matter if you're the instigator or the recipient. It's hard, and it hurts, and it takes a long time to feel normal again. "

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" I'm a mental-health advocate big time, so I think it's great when depression is a thing that's discussed out in the open, because it's still way too stigmatized. "

Emily V. Gordon

Way

Time

Think

" Don't expect yourself to immediately love your stepchildren. In fact, you may hate them for a bit. "

" There is no level of professional rejection that can compare to almost dying. "

" Get married wherever you like, make accommodations for the people you love so they can attend, and forget about the people who can't. "

" People all want and need different emotional responses - some people like to be talked down when they're angry; some people want to be left alone. "

" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "

Emily V. Gordon

Betrayal

You

" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

" I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing. "

" Love is a good thing. "

" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

Powerful

Time

" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "

" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "

" I thought of 'The Big Sick' as a placeholder title, to be completely honest. I've grown to love it. "

" Men - not all men but a good majority of the ones I have known and worked with - tend to think of difficult situations in their lives as problems that need to be solved. "

" Far from 'rotting my brain,' as I was often told would happen, TV helped me feel less alone at a time when I spent so much time alone. "

" As any daytime judge show can tell you, spending someone's money or taking their stuff because they hurt your feelings is not justified. "

" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "

" There's nothing like listening to the drone of QVC's always-bubbly pitchwomen, as they try to move loose-fitting tunics with 'just the right amount of sparkle,' to soothe you into a healing slumber. "

" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "

" Nothing makes me feel more mushy and full of love for my husband than going back and looking at our flirtation unfolding online. I love reading our old e-mails, texts, and Gchats. "

" Sometimes new spouses don't fully process the commitment they've made until after the deal is done, and then they panic. "

" In Hollywood, it seems that the people least successful at being married are the ones most eager to tie the knot over and over again. "

" A lot of people end up getting married more out of expectation than out of passion for each other, but if your options have ever been, 'We either get married or break up,' be careful. Marriage should be a new addition you add to the house that is your relationship, not the structure you impose on the house once it's already built. "

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

Emily V. Gordon

Good

Men

" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "

" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "

Emily V. Gordon

Sometimes

Television