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" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Ghosts of Marriages Past can haunt many aspects of a new relationship - your expectations of what a man should do, how you behave in conflict, your ideas of how commitment should look - they can even make your new man look untrustworthy when he's really behaving normally. "

Emily V. Gordon

" There is no level of professional rejection that can compare to almost dying. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage isn't just about two people who fit together well. It's about two people who figure out how to fit together well. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I definitely think, when you're a teenager, it's more forgiving to talk to strangers and go up to people at a mall or whatever. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Post-divorce, the world can feel harsh and full of jagged edges. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "

Emily V. Gordon

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

Emily V. Gordon

" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I'm not an actress. I'm a writer. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I think it's lovely when people are more involved in local politics. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I have multiple tattoos. "

Emily V. Gordon

" As any daytime judge show can tell you, spending someone's money or taking their stuff because they hurt your feelings is not justified. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

Emily V. Gordon

" When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe rather than invading other universes, we all win. "

Emily V. Gordon

" In my experience as a therapist and as a friend, it seems that the majority of the breakup resources available are for women and not men. Women, who tend to be more vocal about their emotional struggles, are the squeaky wheel that gets the grease from friends, from online communities, from books, and from therapeutic approaches. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I have a pretty intense work ethic. If something's not done, I cannot let go until I get it done. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Nothing makes me feel more mushy and full of love for my husband than going back and looking at our flirtation unfolding online. I love reading our old e-mails, texts, and Gchats. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I always tell people, 'Take a class or volunteer.' It really helps you get out of your own little pocket of people you always see and gets you exposed to a new group of people. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

Emily V. Gordon

" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Hindsight is always 20/20, but I imagine a lot of married and divorced people have insights to share about how they felt during their engagement. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Awkward conversations are painful, but they're way easier than divorce, resentment, and heartbreak. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Dealing with wedding stuff is a bit of a double-edged sword - it seems that divorcees are expected to either burn it all on the front lawn, tears silently coursing down their faces, or keep the stuff, shrine-like, concealed somewhere in their homes. "

Emily V. Gordon

" Men - not all men but a good majority of the ones I have known and worked with - tend to think of difficult situations in their lives as problems that need to be solved. "

Emily V. Gordon

" I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing. "

Emily V. Gordon