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" I think Spielberg is a master. I think 'Jaws' invented a genre. "

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" I see my real job now as - never mind 'The Office,' 'Extras,' film career, Emmys - I want everyone in the world to know who Karl Pilkington is. "

" You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you're at the window. "

" If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey. "

" Where there's a will - there's a relative! "

" The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product. "

" Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming! "

" When I was growing up, I didn't like cheese. I had to wean myself onto cheese. "

" I'm a scientist at heart, so I know how important the truth is. However inconvenient, however unattractive, however embarrassing, however shocking, the truth is the truth, and wanting it not to be true doesn't change things. "

" Even I can't talk about myself for an hour. "

" I was David Bowie-thin up to about 28, and then I discovered food. "

" Karl Pilkington has the roundest head, I think, in the world. It's not technically a deformity, but I've never seen anything quite that spherical. "

" There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything. "

" Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it. "

" I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing. "

" I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well. "

" With the Internet era and social media and politics being so out there with the lies, now you've got people denying things they're on camera doing, and then you've got people not really caring about the truth. You've got people supporting people who've done horrific things, but just don't want the other side to get any satisfaction. "

" I think being nice is more important than being clever. "

" Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's not the driving force. It's a by-product. "

" Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got. "

" There's nothing wrong with being respected by your peers. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best. There's nothing wrong with success. There's not even anything wrong with trying to get a raise. There's nothing wrong with that. "

" If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it. "

" I think I'm pretty self-aware. "

" I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian. "

" Everything I do is somehow rooted in humanity. It's always about people; it's always about ego. It's always about desperation. It's quite existential. You know, 'Am I leading a good life?' That might be because I'm an atheist, and I think this is all we've got, so you better be nice. And have fun. "

" I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes. "

" I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.' "

" I'd never tried as hard with anything as I did with 'The Office,' and it was one of the things I'm proud of. I wasn't trying to be famous or a comedian, but this opportunity came along when I was 38 or 39. It came late, and I couldn't have been prouder of it. "

" I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet. "

" I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough. "

" I didn't like noisy cinemas when I wasn't famous. "