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" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "

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" Hockey's my favorite sport. "

" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "

" I really like 'Batman.' Not the TV show, but the dark 'Batman.' "

" How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean. "

" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "

" Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself. "

" Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish. "

" I spent a long time working in the movies to figure out that kind of acting and also how to write and produce for the screen. "

" One of those things that I like about TV is that if you get a group of people you like, you can work with these people for months at a time, and you can discover their strengths and weaknesses, and you can use those in the direction where you take the characters. "

" I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time. "

" I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor. "

" My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that. "

" I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention. "

" I'd love to do another television series. I really love the writing process, and as an actor I really like how much you get to examine in television. "

" If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now. "

" Certain movies like 'Wag The Dog,' we used improv on every scene that we did. Pretty much, we would shoot from the script and then some stuff that we came up with in rehearsal, and then we'd have at least one or two takes where we completely went off the script and just flew by the seat of our pants. "

" In my experience in series TV, if you have a good crew and a great cast, it's going to be a great group - similar to the theater where it's a bunch of people who are really talented and go to work each day and challenge each other, and if you are lucky enough to get a hit then it's five or six or seven years of this kind of work. "

" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "

" I have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things. "

" I actually like talking. "

" I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one. "

" If you had no enemies, you had no fun. "

" The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart. "

" I'm no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it's Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It's not nice. "

" People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes! "

" I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen. "

" Kathy Bates is sexy. It's partly because of her talent, but she's got a great face, and a great laugh. "

" The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. "

" What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. "

Politically Correct