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" If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now. "
Denis Leary
Now
You
Years
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" When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me. "
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" Wolfhounds helped kill off the wolves in Ireland. "
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" I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare. "
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" Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America. "
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" The biggest battle for a lot of people who come out of the theater, which is where I was trained, is that they can never forget that a camera is pointed at them. "
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" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "
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" Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. "
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" I actually like talking. "
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" No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever. "
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" I'm born and raised in the Northeast. My parents are Irish immigrants. So our tendency is to shy away from the big yellow ball that comes up in the sky every once in a while. "
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" Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer. "
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" If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in. "
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Government
" The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film. "
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" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "
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Her
" When I was a teenager, you couldn't get straight pants. Then in '76, when punk started to hit, it was a revelation that you could find straight pants again. "
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" It says on the back of the Nyquil box, 'May cause drowsiness.' It should say, 'Don't make any plans, OK? Kiss your family and friends good-bye.' "
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" I can't text. My fingers are too big. "
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Too
Text
Fingers
" The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work. "
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" One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own. "
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Help
Need
" I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate. "
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Much
Up
Type
" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "
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" Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it. "
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" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "
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Will
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" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "
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" My brother and I tortured my mother growing up. "
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" In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life. "
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" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "
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" Every actor thinks he can do comedy, and it's not true. "
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" With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head. "
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" I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy. "
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Guy
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Spider-Man