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" My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave. "

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" My charity is in the business of helping firefighters in any way that we can. For instance, after 9/11 we were the second-fastest charity to raise and distribute money to the widows and surviving family members of the 343 firefighters who died that day. "

" When I go to Batman movies, I always think, 'Man, I would like to be a bad guy in a Batman movie.' especially as they got darker when they go to the Christian Bale era. "

" I don't really have a lot of fun playing just straight good guys. It's not my thing. It's like Tom Hanks territory. "

" There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance. "

" Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America. "

" I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory. "

" If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is. "

" I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.' "

" I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids. "

" Technology is changing, so the viewership is getting broken up. My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except 'FX makes the show that I see on my computer.' "

" It would be great if firefighters across the country had the guarantee that they would be making enough money to support their family right from the get-go, but that's not the case. "

" My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York. "

" We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me! "

" I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry. "

" I've eaten things that didn't complain this much. "

" My career plan at this point is 'Ice Age 5' through '10,' and even '12,' and 'Spider Man' - you know, basically I'd be Emma Stone's dad for the rest of my career. I really don't have any problem doing that. "

" I've been nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes, but I've never won one and I probably never will. "

" The thing with movies is, because you have so little time, I always feel like there are more things we could've done with the character. If we'd done a sequel to 'The Thomas Crown Affair,' what would that have been like? But for the most part, you try not to think of that, because it's just going to break your heart. "

" Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do. "

" I'm no day at the beach. And if it is a beach, it's Hampton Beach. Ever been there? It's not nice. "

" When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me. "

" My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen. "

" Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush. "

" Wolfhounds helped kill off the wolves in Ireland. "

" I love America. "

" I believe in prescription drugs. I believe in feeling better. "

" I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid. "

" My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in. "

" Firefighters don't go on strike. "

" If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while. "