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" I guess I'm entertaining; I guess I'm interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don't know. "

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" Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them. "

" If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler. "

" If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it's something we can all laugh at. "

" There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days. "

" Where I came from, people couldn't afford to go to the theatre. "

" You have to give a wound time to heal and think of other people's feelings. "

" Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. "

" Working with Bruce Willis makes my career authentic. I may not get an Oscar, but I worked with Bruce Willis. That matters more to me. "

" My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. "

" People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy - laughter is universal, and I don't differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There's no reason why one person can't relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another. "

" I don't even read the newspaper; I don't read that crap. "

" All you single fathers got to man up. "

" Anybody who's lived in the ghetto knows that you don't move during the daytime. Here's why: You don't want anyone to know you're leaving, and you don't want anyone knowing where you're going. "

" I think hip hop is dead. It's all pop now. If you call it hip hop, then you need to stop. Hip hop was a movement. Hip hop was a culture. Hip hop was a way of life. It's all commercial now. "

" Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. "

" Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius. "

" As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life. "

" Most people don't know what's happening around them because they're just speeding through life. And before they know it, they're just old. So I just try to slow it down. "

" In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody's pretty much standing around like they're at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off. "

" I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut. "

" I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye. "

" I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that. "

" What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I'm a grown man. You don't gotta put on no makeup with me. "

" You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working. "

" Black people dance well because we start early - there's music being played everywhere. White people? They don't start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it's too late; the bottom don't move with the top no matter how hard they try. "

" I'm a big, big movie fan. I watch 'The Ten Commandments' and the original 'Planet of the Apes' every night. "