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" My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality. "

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" I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man. "

" I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.' "

" I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy. "

" I'm glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn't be where I'm at. I would have had a net. I'm glad I didn't have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder. "

" Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Trauma. "

" I've played outrageous characters my whole career. "

" The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny! "

" I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut. "

" If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material. "

" When you look at the artists who have come up through 'Billboard' over the years, it's incredible. "

" Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. "

" Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing. "

" Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day. "

" I think the word 'pregnant' is funny. "

" If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler. "

" I'm not perfect, but I strive for it. "

" The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails! "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes. "

" To me, politics is a pile of tricks. "

" I've got friends who want money but don't want to do anything to earn it. "

" I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical. "

" People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive. "

" I do comedy for real people. "

" I think it's good that I get scared because, if you never get scared, you don't have any need for guts. "

" You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing. "

" Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it's called tel-lie-vision! "

" In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here. "