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" Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. "

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" The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails! "

" Most people don't know what's happening around them because they're just speeding through life. And before they know it, they're just old. So I just try to slow it down. "

" The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny! "

" Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them. "

" I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside. "

" If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material. "

" I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip. "

" Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Trauma. "

" What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man. "

" I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that. "

" It's just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It's awesome to have people quoting you. I love it. "

" I'm not a child star, but you could say that I've grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called 'Martin.' From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on 'Saturday Night Live' since Eddie Murphy. "

" Black people dance well because we start early - there's music being played everywhere. White people? They don't start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it's too late; the bottom don't move with the top no matter how hard they try. "

" Yeah, race exists. Racism is still here, and it's doing well. Turn on the news. I don't think me and my comedy can really change that. "

" I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man. "

" I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes. "

" Tracy Morgan is subdued. I'm cool. I'm chilled out. "

" If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned. "

" All women like to look up to their men. "

" I think hip hop is dead. It's all pop now. If you call it hip hop, then you need to stop. Hip hop was a movement. Hip hop was a culture. Hip hop was a way of life. It's all commercial now. "

" I love '30 Rock' because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week. "

" All you single fathers got to man up. "

" I think the word 'pregnant' is funny. "

" The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too. "

" I'm art. You're art. We are God's greatest works, simple as that. "

" I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. "

" I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit. "

" If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn't kill people. "

" America doesn't like to hear about things like welfare. 'Don't talk about that. We don't like what it did to people!' Yeah, but it happened. "

" A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then. "