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" I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. "
Steven Wright
Stop
Car
Gone
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" I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. "
Steven Wright
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" Cars bring me sheer joy. "
Evan Spiegel
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Sheer
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" My mother and father, with my newborn brother and me in the backseat of the 1938 Ford sedan that would be our family car for the next decade, moved to that hastily constructed Army ammunition depot called Igloo, on the alkaline and sagebrush landscape of far southwestern South Dakota. I was three years old. "
Tom Brokaw
Father
Mother
Me
" What did people do prior to cell phones? Read a book? If I'm stuck in a car, and I don't have my phone, I'm like, 'What am I doing?' Car rides used to be one of my favorite things. "
Chris Evans
Phone
Book
Car
" Whether you live in a city or a small town, and whether you drive a car, take the bus or ride a train, at some point in the day, everyone is a pedestrian. "
Anthony Foxx
Ride
Car
City
" I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They've got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I've got to be conscious of that. "
Mr. T
People
Pride
Work
" I've always worked on my own home and different places that I've owned. I really enjoyed it. But I'm a mechanic, a motorcycle and car builder. "
Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Mechanic
My Own
Car
" I remember in '37 when trolley cars were so big in New York. It was five cents for a ride... There used to be open-air buses, and you could go up a spiral staircase and sit up on top. Those were great, great days. "
Tiny Tim
New York
Remember
Ride
" I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. "
Steven Wright
Anything
Buy
General
" It all happened so fast. The ghetto. The deportation. The sealed cattle car. The fiery altar upon which the history of our people and the future of mankind were meant to be sacrificed. "
Elie Wiesel
History
People
Ghetto
" The first cellphone I owned was hardly a slim, high-tech device - it was more like a brick with buttons, only with worse reception. If you wanted to use your phone to give someone a message, you were better off throwing it at him and hoping you broke his car window. "
W. Bruce Cameron
Better
Phone
Window
" A car for every purse and purpose. "
Alfred P. Sloan
Car
Purpose
Every
" When I was in high school, I hid in the back seat of an old boyfriend's car when he was out with another girl. He finally found me, but not until after he had made out with her for an hour. "
Bonnie Hunt
School
Back
Car
" The city needs a car like a fish needs a bicycle. "
Dean Kamen
City
Bicycle
Car
" I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Curtain
Behind
Iron
" I am so sick of reading about another car bomb, another suicide bomber, another 10, 20, 30, 70, 100 people dead in a day, both Americans and Iraqis. "
Rosanne Cash
Day
Car
Suicide
" I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me. "
Steven Wright
Life
You
Road
" I've always listened to a lot of rap. It's all, 'Look at this car that cost me so much money, look at this Champagne.' It's super fun. "
Lorde
Fun
Always
Car
" I'm very free-spirited and crazy. I love to have fun, and I like doing stupid things. At the same time, I'm like a 35-year-old. I have a house. I have a car. I have a steady job. I have a business, and I have to make serious decisions. "
Avril Lavigne
Business
Have Fun
Car
" I love everything from old-school cars to whatever the latest muscle or luxury vehicles are. "
Ludacris
Muscle
Love
Car
" I hate when someone drives my car and resets all the radio presets. I don't understand it. If I was ever driving someone's car, I would never touch the things that were set. "
Will Ferrell
Hate
Understand
Car
" I grew up in San Diego, California, and I spent a lot of time in the summer basically living in a bathing suit, you know, get in the car and drive straight to the beach and spend the entire day in that thing, so I always approached bathing suits thinking that they are very much like outfits. "
Emily Ratajkowski
Time
Thinking
Drive
" My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000 miles on it, and I had put 40,000 miles on it, so by the time it retired it had 120,000, and I basically killed it. It served me well, and my mechanic was always very angry with me because I just didn't properly care for it. "
Mike Birbiglia
Mother
Me
Care
" I think a lot of writers, male and female, write as if their parents were killed in a car accident when they were 2, and they have no one to hold accountable. And unfortunately, I don't have that. I have parents who I care about what they think. "
Mindy Kaling
Think
Car
Care
" Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?' "
Steven Wright
Childhood
Everything
Wrong
" Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at. "
Steven Wright
Jokes
Will
Predict
" My first car, I got it in an auction at my temple. It was an '86 Volvo that I got for 500 bucks, and then wound up throwing $10,000 into the stereo system and put TVs in the foot rests. It was the most ridiculous Volvo you'd ever seen, but I had never had money before and I was out of my mind. "
Shia LaBeouf
Car
Mind
Money
" A Prius is not a true hybrid, really. The current Prius is, like, 2 percent electric. It's a gasoline car with slightly better mileage. "
Elon Musk
Like
True
Percent
" I am 'Mr. Karaoke Guy' in the car completely. I just go with it and don't care what anyone else thinks - I'm singing, man! "
Drake Bell
I Am
Singing
Go
" Electric cars are coal-powered cars. Their carbon emissions can be worse than gasoline-powered cars. "
Vinod Khosla
Electric
Electric Cars
Worse