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" I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it. "
Nikki Glaser
Just
Comedy
Kids
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" My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever. "
Nikki Glaser
Logic
You
Need
" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "
Nikki Glaser
Got
Knew
Material
" As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation. "
Nikki Glaser
Humor
Best
Situation
" My sister was very, very beautiful and I was very not. Doing comedy is the greatest thing ever because you don't have to do that, and I've since learned to let go of that. "
Nikki Glaser
Sister
You
Beautiful
" I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great. "
Nikki Glaser
Relationship
Great
Way
" I'm sure I've already made some mistakes that I'll wish I could take back. "
Nikki Glaser
Mistakes
Sure
Take
" We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money. "
Nikki Glaser
Money
Financial
Want
" I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not. I am aware of our audience. We always aim for the right combo of not hitting people over head but still getting our message across. "
Nikki Glaser
Hide
Audience
Woman
" I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I'm so glad I'm not having kids. "
Nikki Glaser
Anymore
Kids
Having
" Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do. "
Nikki Glaser
Strength
Good
Myself
" Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way. "
Nikki Glaser
Cute
Way
Number
" When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. "
Nikki Glaser
Always
Got
Think
" Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it. "
Nikki Glaser
Enough
Women
Think
" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "
Nikki Glaser
High
Funny
Someone
" The first place I ever performed was at CU Boulder. I went there my freshman year and discovered stand-up after my friends talked me into signing up for a showcase on campus. "
Nikki Glaser
Me
First
Place
" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "
Nikki Glaser
People
Open
Relationships
" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "
Nikki Glaser
Relationship
Think
Good
" I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that. "
Nikki Glaser
Say
Saying
Fun
" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "
Nikki Glaser
Fighting
Pink
Good
" I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. "
Nikki Glaser
Always
Been
Scared
" Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled. "
Nikki Glaser
Things
You
Away
" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "
Nikki Glaser
Wikipedia
Actually
Celebrity
" Nothing really shocks me anymore. "
Nikki Glaser
Shocks
Anymore
Nothing
" Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast. "
Nikki Glaser
Never
Radio
Room
" I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid. "
Nikki Glaser
Kid
Saying
Things
" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "
Nikki Glaser
Living
Love
Place
" I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations. "
Nikki Glaser
Situations
Uncomfortable
Like
" I think I deal with my anger toward my relationship or about my relationship or about my friendships or my family - I deal with it on stage in a passive-aggressive way, and that can be very harmful if it gets back to them, which it always does. "
Nikki Glaser
Anger
Think
Back
" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "
Nikki Glaser
Me
Thought
Important
" My boyfriend and I have finally learned how to embrace confrontation as something that will only help us as a couple. "
Nikki Glaser
Finally
Only
Embrace