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" Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled. "
Nikki Glaser
Things
You
Away
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" I'm sure I've already made some mistakes that I'll wish I could take back. "
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" Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again. "
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Rather
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" All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. "
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My Life
People
" My boyfriend and I have finally learned how to embrace confrontation as something that will only help us as a couple. "
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Finally
Only
Embrace
" When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. "
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" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "
Nikki Glaser
Know
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" I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. "
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Always
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" I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
You
Perspective
" Everything I write in my show is a collaboration with a team. "
Nikki Glaser
Team
Collaboration
Everything
" I think I deal with my anger toward my relationship or about my relationship or about my friendships or my family - I deal with it on stage in a passive-aggressive way, and that can be very harmful if it gets back to them, which it always does. "
Nikki Glaser
Anger
Think
Back
" It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them. "
Nikki Glaser
Success
Life
Cool
" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "
Nikki Glaser
Moment
Space
Best
" I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot because she goes a lot! "
Nikki Glaser
Club
Because
More
" Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her and laughing would be incredible. "
Nikki Glaser
Comedy
Speech
Sitting
" I just want to open people's eyes to different things. "
Nikki Glaser
Different
People
Open
" I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect up there that I did in the beginning. "
Nikki Glaser
Feel
Same
Beginning
" I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better. "
Nikki Glaser
Never
Guilty
Anything
" My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. "
Nikki Glaser
Know
Me
Proud
" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "
Nikki Glaser
Fighting
Pink
Good
" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "
Nikki Glaser
Got
Knew
Material
" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "
Nikki Glaser
Enough
Early
Grateful
" College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator. "
Nikki Glaser
Good
Pull
Done
" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "
Nikki Glaser
Couples
More
Go
" Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way. "
Nikki Glaser
Cute
Way
Number
" If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump. "
Nikki Glaser
Going
Extinction
Bring
" As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it. "
Nikki Glaser
Talk
Well
Go
" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "
Nikki Glaser
Living
Love
Place
" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "
Nikki Glaser
High
Funny
Someone
" I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' "
Nikki Glaser
Want
Say
Money
" All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked. "
Nikki Glaser
Humor
Pretty
Relatives