Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "
Nikki Glaser
Me
Thought
Important
Related Quotes:
" I was inspired by people telling me I should be a comedian. I tried it and had a really good first set, so I was like, 'OK, I'll do this forever'. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
People
First
" I have always been scared of confrontation. My therapist says it stems from my fear of abandonment. "
Nikki Glaser
Always
Been
Scared
" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "
Nikki Glaser
Wikipedia
Actually
Celebrity
" I'm sure I've already made some mistakes that I'll wish I could take back. "
Nikki Glaser
Mistakes
Sure
Take
" Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want. "
Nikki Glaser
Want
Think
Sharing
" College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator. "
Nikki Glaser
Good
Pull
Done
" Rob Thomas loves nothing more than for couples to go on dates, and he loves chocolates. Boxes of 20 chocolates. "
Nikki Glaser
Couples
More
Go
" I am a woman, so I never want to hide that or be like, 'I'm one of the boys,' because I'm not. I am aware of our audience. We always aim for the right combo of not hitting people over head but still getting our message across. "
Nikki Glaser
Hide
Audience
Woman
" I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid. "
Nikki Glaser
Kid
Saying
Things
" Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it. "
Nikki Glaser
Enough
Women
Think
" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "
Nikki Glaser
Relationship
Think
Good
" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "
Nikki Glaser
Funny
Her
Thought
" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "
Nikki Glaser
Enough
Early
Grateful
" My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. "
Nikki Glaser
Know
Me
Proud
" Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again. "
Nikki Glaser
Rather
Homeless
Again
" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "
Nikki Glaser
Ignorant
People
Understand
" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "
Nikki Glaser
Living
Love
Place
" I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. "
Nikki Glaser
Thinking
Remember
You
" Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do. "
Nikki Glaser
Strength
Good
Myself
" If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump. "
Nikki Glaser
Going
Extinction
Bring
" I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great. "
Nikki Glaser
Relationship
Great
Way
" We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money. "
Nikki Glaser
Money
Financial
Want
" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "
Nikki Glaser
Camera
Business
Yourself
" I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' "
Nikki Glaser
Want
Say
Money
" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
Me
Know
" I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
You
Perspective
" When I did 'Nikki and Sara Live,' I think a lot of the comedy got lost because we were always so worried about how we looked, and so was the network. "
Nikki Glaser
Always
Got
Think
" The transgender bathroom thing - it's just so obvious that people are scared of what they don't understand. It's like, 'I don't want to deal with the fact that some people might have been born in the wrong body.' "
Nikki Glaser
Born
Body
People
" I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better. "
Nikki Glaser
Never
Guilty
Anything
" As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it. "
Nikki Glaser
Talk
Well
Go