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" When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened. "

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" Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots. "

Robert Webb

You

Idiot

Missing

" Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives. "

" My childhood was as heavily gendered as any you would find in a working-class household in Lincolnshire. "

" I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it. "

" I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the 'nothing' that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven't started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices. "

" We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons. "

" Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there's a supermarket and a doctor's and a beach a five-minute walk away. That's all I want, and it's quite difficult to find. "

" It was quite an honour when 'New Woman' magazine voted me 88th sexiest man in the world. I think I was one in front of David Cameron. "

Robert Webb

Woman

Think

" We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it. "

" I grew up in Lincolnshire, trying to get the daughters of farmers and policemen to like me. It didn't go well until I got to college where, suddenly, there were different sorts of humans. "

Robert Webb

" I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning. "

Robert Webb

Children

" My parents' marriage was already shaky when I came along. They split up when I was five, and I didn't see Dad all that often after that - four or five times a year. "

" Religion is many things, but one of them, surely, is a way for adults to indulge in uncritical hero worship. "

" Ed Miliband is obviously a mild guy. I don't expect him to pretend to be a pugilist. "

" No, feminism isn't 'over.' We need it not only to challenge injustice but because the whole gender expectations thing is bad for men, too. "

" I hate it when people use the word 'sorry' aggressively, as in, 'Sorry, but I hate you.' Sorry's an important word, and it shouldn't be abused. "

" Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of 'thinker', with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won't really do. "

" I get recognised a fair bit. It goes up when 'Peep Show' or the sketch show is on the telly or when we're doing loads of interviews. "

" I'm a huge, huge fan of Chris Morris. I think he's a genius, and it is not a word I use very often. I think he's fantastic. "

" I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny. "

" I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That's pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question. "

" Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury. "

" Don't get me wrong - intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche. "

" Where you have 20 people who all share roughly the same educational and life experiences, they're going to come up with the same solutions to the same problems. "

" I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all. "

" On 'EastEnders,' if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that. "

" I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't. "

" When the Mac ad campaign was in full swing, I quickened my pace as I went past certain bus stops. My wife told me that she loyally took a piece of chewing gum off my nose once. "

" I'm the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch. "

" UKIP trades in the language of fear and division; it seeks power in order to reject responsibility. "