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" If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey. "

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" I find comedy easy, and I find drama exciting and tantalising. "

" I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about. "

" I've avoided doing a network comedy, because I wouldn't get my own way. Even though it would get more viewers, it wouldn't be mine. "

" I remember asking my mum when I was about 13, 'Why are my brothers and sister so much older than me?' And she just said, 'You were a mistake.' And I laughed. "

" I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough. "

" The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product. "

" I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing. "

" It's funny because I was offered film parts the first week after 'The Office' went out. I was sent a script, and I said, 'Who's the lead?' They said, 'We want you to be.' And I said: 'Well, who's going to go and see that? You want John Cusack.' "

" I don't do karaoke. I don't dance, even at weddings. I'm the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine. "

" Believe it or not, I work out regularly. "

" Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's not the driving force. It's a by-product. "

" There's nothing wrong with being respected by your peers. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best. There's nothing wrong with success. There's not even anything wrong with trying to get a raise. There's nothing wrong with that. "

" Let's be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool. "

" I didn't know I was poor, growing up, because everyone was in the same boat. I couldn't have bikes. It never really bothered me, but I could have any book. I loved school; I loved learning. Yeah, I never cared for possessions. I still don't, really. "

" I've been lucky enough to be able to choose exactly where I want to live. "

" I think our elderly are forgotten sometimes. "

" Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming! "

" The grass isn't always greener on the other side! "

" Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn't matter what you believe. "

" People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same. "

" I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.' "

" When I was about to be famous, I feared it on a few levels. I feared it because I didn't want people to lump me in with those people who'd do anything to be famous. I didn't like the word 'celebrity.' I feared intrusion, you know? Make me famous, and suddenly you can go through my trash bins. "

" If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. So I go about my days trying to bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. And then everyone gets furious about it. And then I sit back and say, 'I did that!' "

" Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny. "

" I think I'm pretty self-aware. "

" My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not. I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself. "

" I love UFC, vigilante films, and any acts of merciless heroism. "

" The great thing about being an artist is, we want our work to be seen. "

" I'm a fang-toothed, blob-nosed, slouchy slob. "

" I don't know why other people are concerned about other people's lives that much. "