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" I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" If we can prove an afterlife, then we have less pressure to make our physical life last forever. "

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" Once religion has been dismissed by primarily an intellectual class of people, we lose the really useful social functions of religion... What replaces it might be worse than what we throw away. "

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" I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes. "

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" The bright future is that readers are accepting more varied forms of stories. "

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" If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim from Kurt Vonnegut, and my distanced fracture quality is all from Amy Hempel, who's probably my favourite writer. "

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" Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up? "

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" We kind of deny the stages of life. "

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" If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie. "

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" I'm trying to make order out of chaos, trying to find some way of rationalising the horrific things that people do or the way the world is. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Jack Palance was my distant uncle - that's the family gossip. Growing up, my family knew everything about his face getting burned and scarred in the military and how that mutilation led him to become such a famous 'heavy' in films. I prayed for good scars of my own. Not just acne scars. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I come from generations of farmers. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I don't care what they do with my book so long as the flippin check clears. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Think about George Orwell's three-minute hate from the novel '1984' and how that left everyone sort of exhausted and able to live their boring humdrum lives. If our lives are going to continue being unfulfilled and boring, perhaps we do need some sort of short-term violent chaos incorporated into them, to make them more palatable. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it seemed the most extreme reaction to the earnestness of hippies. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Since September 11, 2001, the real world has become too scary for a lot of people to be with - all the time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When the 'Fight Club' movie was going into production, I quit my job so I could write full-time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" David Fincher is a genius. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" As a lower-class kid, I was raised to think success would be owning stuff. Having that great job, too. Now I find my parents' dream was wrong. You never really own anything. And you're never really finished as a person. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think, in a way, I invented the term 'fight club' and that these things have always existed, but they never really had a label. Nobody had a language to apply to them. I created that language in two words and I've been paid a great deal of money for inventing two words and labeling something that has always been around. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I want my characters to really overuse their coping mechanisms to the point where they break down within 300 pages. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. "

Chuck Palahniuk