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" Since September 11, 2001, the real world has become too scary for a lot of people to be with - all the time. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" When I visit my brother in South Africa, I order things I've only seen in zoos. Little deers and kudu, all the mammals you would never think of eating. "

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" The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. "

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" Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct. "

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" In my family, we can't just sit and be together. We have to be shelling peas or husking corn or something. A larger task. Some way of being with people. "

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" Men want to make the best use of time and want to see how something can inform them and give them a stronger sense of power. "

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" The only thing I shy away from is non-consensual violence. I can't write a story where someone is a simple victim because it's boring. "

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" There will always be an underground. "

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" I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen. I've found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that's usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart. "

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" My writing process isn't a very organized thing. "

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" The first step to eternal life is you have to die. "

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" A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart. "

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" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

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" People say I make up wild stories. But all I have to do is write down stuff that really happens. "

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" Destruction is always an attractive idea. My brother and I used to spend weeks making models of cities so that we could destroy them in 15 minutes. There's a fantastic joy in destroying something that you've meticulously built. Then you're free to build a new thing. Destruction and creation... they're inseparable. "

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" My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a book. If I can throw away all my hair, then I have the freedom to trash any part of the book on the next rewrite. "

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" We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. "

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" I always thought I'd write when I retired - when I turned 65. "

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" I write in a noisy, distracting world so the books can be read there. "

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" My stories always have these twisted happy endings, and the boy always gets the girl. "

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" Mr. Olsen in the fifth grade made me want to be a writer. He said, 'Chuck, you do this really well. And this is much better than setting fires, so keep it up.' That made me a writer. "

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" When I first started writing, it was me alone with a computer in my apartment. I hated the time away from other people, and my writing sucked. Now I have a laptop; I can do the most tedious part of my job in a public place. "

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" If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up? "

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" Find out what you're afraid of and go live there. "

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" I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience. "

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" Fiction is no longer the dominant storytelling device of our time. In the 19th century it worked great, and fiction was the king, but it's not the king any more. "

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" People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love. "

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" You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless. "

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" A film has to maintain a certain decorum in order to be broadcast to a vast audience. "

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" The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. "

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" I will never write a sequel to anything that I will ever write. "

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