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" I went to a Catholic girls' school before we moved to Florida when I was 15. "

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" I was born in Joliet, Illinois. It was totally Midwestern - small, little house, two great parents, and a sister and a beagle. "

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" I'm a plus-size person, so when I tried to go into the Gap, I used to just walk out of there shaking my head because they have nothing that fits me. "

" I have worked with many, many talented and dedicated people. "

" You're under the gun at all times because it's live TV. A lot of time, between dress and air, you're having to come with an entire ending to your sketch that gets an even better, bigger laugh - which is terrifying... People are filing into the audience, and you're writing a new joke for the end of it. "

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" Everyone knows people like that: You're looking at their milky, glazed-over eyes, and you know they're not listening. "

" At my confirmation, where you get the Holy Spirit, I came down the stairs at my party and had torn, like, 80 holes in my pantyhose and said I had the Holy Spirit, and just would do things like that all the time. "

" Some children challenge themselves to maybe run a marathon or something. I challenged myself to stay up for two days and make cinnamon toast and watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon and laugh and cry. "

" I think, as a woman, you have to really make sure that you're taking care of yourself and make sure that you're covered and you have enough material written for you. "

" My sister's journal was the romantic one with boys, and mine was talking about my rock tumbler. We were so different and so similar. "

" I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. "

" My sister was three years older than me, and she was like the stone-cold '70s fox. I looked like a short Polish farm woman, and so our journals were wildly different. "

" I have written before, but I was primarily an actor and improvisational performer. "

" I was really dramatic, really concerned with love or life. "

" I'm a big hit at parties. Friends ask me to sing B-I-N-G-O all the time. I'm thinking, you know, of maybe putting out a Christmas album or something. "

" I grew up where the repercussion of you having an opinion was being 'cocky,' or people would be mad at you. And I have finally learnt that it is better for them to be mad at you and disagree than you be so mad at yourself all of the time for not speaking up. "

" I'm a late bloomer, so I'm going to embrace it all. "

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" I'm obsessed with 'Rocky.' We went 13 times to the theater. "

" Tina Fey is a very old friend of mine, and I adore her. "