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" I was a very earthly, matronly, plus-size little girl with a pure heart. "

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" I was born in Joliet, Illinois. It was totally Midwestern - small, little house, two great parents, and a sister and a beagle. "

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" I'm a plus-size person, so when I tried to go into the Gap, I used to just walk out of there shaking my head because they have nothing that fits me. "

" I think, as a woman, you have to really make sure that you're taking care of yourself and make sure that you're covered and you have enough material written for you. "

" My sister is three years older and super foxy, and I always looked like a 50 year old woman. "

" You're under the gun at all times because it's live TV. A lot of time, between dress and air, you're having to come with an entire ending to your sketch that gets an even better, bigger laugh - which is terrifying... People are filing into the audience, and you're writing a new joke for the end of it. "

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" Young, handsome men never flirt with me. I get heat from old dudes that run the parking garages. "