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" I was born in Joliet, Illinois. It was totally Midwestern - small, little house, two great parents, and a sister and a beagle. "

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" I'm a big hit at parties. Friends ask me to sing B-I-N-G-O all the time. I'm thinking, you know, of maybe putting out a Christmas album or something. "

" I'm obsessed with 'Rocky.' We went 13 times to the theater. "

" I grew up where the repercussion of you having an opinion was being 'cocky,' or people would be mad at you. And I have finally learnt that it is better for them to be mad at you and disagree than you be so mad at yourself all of the time for not speaking up. "

" Some children challenge themselves to maybe run a marathon or something. I challenged myself to stay up for two days and make cinnamon toast and watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon and laugh and cry. "

" Commercials used to have such a serious tone to them or a really corny tone. "

" I was really dramatic, really concerned with love or life. "

" My sister is three years older and super foxy, and I always looked like a 50 year old woman. "

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" I think it helps in any comedy room for a woman to have very strong, respected convictions, because then it opens the door up a little bit for other women to have that. "

" I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. "

" I was always a bit of a class clown. "

" My sister was three years older than me, and she was like the stone-cold '70s fox. I looked like a short Polish farm woman, and so our journals were wildly different. "

" I was a very earthly, matronly, plus-size little girl with a pure heart. "

" I'm a late bloomer, so I'm going to embrace it all. "

" Everyone knows people like that: You're looking at their milky, glazed-over eyes, and you know they're not listening. "

" At my confirmation, where you get the Holy Spirit, I came down the stairs at my party and had torn, like, 80 holes in my pantyhose and said I had the Holy Spirit, and just would do things like that all the time. "

" I went to a Catholic girls' school before we moved to Florida when I was 15. "

" I have worked with many, many talented and dedicated people. "